Soothing Conversations with Chantal

13/04/2026

Having decided to not play the game, I now am. It was fun being bold, messy, going off script, and my art not making sense. But it does.

I needed to do this to break loose. To push my boundaries. Let go of doing it the right way. Being a perfectionist. Pedantic. Constricted. There is no joy in that and I wouldn't complete things because I got frustrated and bored.

On to the next thing. And then the next.

Now I am ready and going to start a course, Collage Joy, from the beginning and enjoy following the process to get a solid foundation to jump from.

I am excited and loved creating these swatches. Who would have thought?

I will be using only three colours plus black and white. So many different options to play with.

This is all part of unlearning childhood patterns. Being the child I wasn't able to be in a volatile and unsafe home. And being with the grief I am experiencing as I also heal my gut.

12/04/2026

In this article, I talk about how to find and create safe spaces for yourself and for patience to emerge as you work through grief and trauma when you have been in survival mode for so long.

I experienced this all again over the last five weeks as my gut flared up in the most painful and undignified way. I ended up in ED and then had a colonoscopy. Fortunately, there is nothing serious.

However, it took me down another path of fear of the unknown, trust and patience. And art helped me through this process. I ended up feeling freer than ever and working with my gut rather than against it.

How to create safe spaces for yourself, move at your own pace, and let patience emerge

11/04/2026

In my Soothing Circles, space is created for something different.

Because healing comes in different formats. It isn't about outcomes. It's about the freedom to express yourself when words fail.

It is about learning how to hold space for your grief, trauma, joy, confusion, and hope.

Allow these sessions to soothe you. To be yourself. To be real.

08/04/2026

When you hold the vision.

When you keep holding the vision when you can’t see how it will come to life.

When the vision becomes real.

I have been wanting to create a circle for people grieving using art and conversation.

That happened today.

Soothing Art Circles with Chantal has been born.

Initially, they will be in person. Then offered on-line.

05/04/2026

Being is also doing.

The quiet work of simply breathing is shaping you in ways no effort ever could.

When in grief it supports you in feeling your feelings. Remembering memories.

There may be tears. A smile. A giggle.

It also brings you much needed rest.

03/04/2026

Be strong. Stay strong.

That is the last thing you feel when you are grieving and / or experiencing trauma.

It feels to heavy. Impossible.

Somehow people fell this will make you feel better. Be more positive.

It doesn't. It can make you feel as if you got it all wrong. That you shouldn't be feeling what you are feeling.

That is anything other than strong.

03/04/2026

This is something I always found hard to hear. The next idea I got was to mother myself.

I had no idea what that meant because my mother didn’t mother me and I didn’t have children.

It wasn’t until this week that I ‘got’ it. Here is some of why.

https://chantalvanderhaeghen.substack.com/p/they-said-id-be-a-great-mother

31/03/2026

Grief isn't neat and tidy. It isn't linear. There is no neat timeline.

It layers it self - layer upon layer. Without given you time to breathe until the next wave overwhelms you.

Never underestimate how difficult it is to understand and process grief.

I know for me last year not only did my mother die but a dear friend where were meant to be visiting in Switzerland. My funded job came to end and how that was handled wasn't pleasant. I got sick.

It felt like what next. Each one was big in its own right.

This is why we need to be kind to ourselves. Loving. Compassionate. Caring. As it is exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally.

29/03/2026

People seem to think that when your loved one dies, they shouldn't mention their name or talk about them as it will make you sad.

This is further from the truth. We want to talk about them. In my case, my mother. Relate stories and memories. Hear their name.

Yes, tears may flow but that is part of the sharing and connecting. It is part of the process.

If there are tears, simply sit with us and be fully present.

Love to hear a story of your loved one.

27/03/2026

Grief takes you into an unknown space that is dark leaving you feeling shattered, desolate, foggy, and bereft.

It is hard to believe or feel that you ever see colour again in your life.

Over time you do. And our soul light expands again.

https://open.substack.com/pub/chantalvanderhaeghen/p/from-hope-to-colour?r=2ioah9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

26/03/2026

Part of learning how to manage grief and trauma is the fact that you can slow down. You can pause. You can step away or continue on whatever you were doing.

This sense of agency is essential to your well-being. Essential to your growth. To your sense of safety, as what you find is that a traumatised nervous system, isn’t about the absence of discomfort. It’s about the presence of being in control.

Knowing how to manage yourself when you wobble. Knowing that it will right itself again. Knowing you can do this.

23/03/2026

When you are grieving before your loved one’s final breath.

Anticipatory grief is something we don’t talk about. In fact, I didn’t even know it existed or had a name.

What I learnt from watching my late mother ever so slowly decline into dementia is how it showed up in my body.

deep fatigue or heaviness in the limbs
tightness in my chest or throat
shallow breathing, sighing without noticing
a restless vigilance, always scanning for change
numbness followed by sudden emotional surges
the unexpected need to cry

I had begun grieving well before I knew I had.