05/31/2022
I don’t like to meditate- at least in the traditional sense. Let me explain. Whenever I try to meditate, either one of three things happen:
1. I can’t seem to quiet my mind no matter how hard I try.
2. I do quiet my mind for a short time; but feel bored.
3. I quiet my mind and for some reason, get overwhelmed with emotion and start bawling.
I do see the value of meditation (I did it every day for 3 months); and maybe some day I’ll be able to do it. But right now it just leaves me frustrated.
However, what was key to my practice was to reframe what “meditation” is. I practice mindfulness. I try and be in the present moment and focus on the sights, sounds and smells of what’s around me. I try to recognize when I’m feeling overwhelmed and take (just) three deep breaths to ground myself. I purposefully think about how I am feeling and where it’s impacting my body. And most importantly, I connect with myself through journaling and art. My mind is generally active when I do these things.
For me, meditation isn’t about quieting my mind. My mind doesn’t get quiet. But what I can do train my mind to focus on the here and now. To focus on how I’m feeling and why.
That’s why I use a planner every day. Taking some time to plan out my day and reflect is my form of meditation. It helps me notice if I’m overwhelmed, haven’t been sleeping, am burnt out.
Don’t get too focused on what it means to meditate. Instead, learn what works best for you. Your way can be through meditation, art, nature, or watching reruns of TV shows. Being mindful can simply be the goal - you don’t need to turn off your mind.
