01/09/2026
Let’s talk about something almost no one talks about: jealousy and envy around bodies.
It’s common. Extremely common. And yet, because we’re taught these emotions are “ugly” or “wrong,” many people feel shame for even noticing them. They hide, minimize, or beat themselves up for comparing. But here’s the truth: comparison doesn’t mean you’re failing at body image, but that you’re human.
Envy is a signal emotion. It’s information, not a flaw. It shows us what we value, what we long for, and what we might want to develop in ourselves. When we respond skillfully, envy can guide growth, connection, and self-reflection. When we respond with shame, rumination, or self-criticism, it becomes unhelpful and distressing.
So what does responding skillfully look like? In my work as a psychologist, I teach people to:
✅Name it without judgment : acknowledging envy reduces fusion and shame.
✅Follow the signal ask: What is this really pointing to? Confidence? Ease? Belonging? Permission to rest?
✅Notice unhelpful patterns: if envy triggers rumination, restriction, or self-attack, pause and regulate first.
✅Go opposite: wish the person you envy well, and focus on what you admire and want to gently develop in yourself.
This isn’t about eliminating envy. It’s about responding to it with skill, curiosity, and self-compassion. It’s about noticing your needs and values without punishing yourself for having them.
💛 Feeling envy doesn’t make you “bad” or “weak.” It makes you human and it’s an opportunity to practice emotional agility and self-respect.
If you find yourself spiraling in comparison, save this post. Try one of these strategies next time envy pops up.
You landed on my post for a reason. For more support on your body image resilience journey, follow 🙋🏻♀️
Also follow my practice for everyday mental wellness 🏡
Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.
