Dr. Melisa Arias-Valenzuela, CPsych, 130 Albert Street, Suite 1204, Ottawa, ON (2025)

10/01/2025

🧡 Today, on National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, I’ve been reflecting on how trauma doesn’t just live in history books — it lives in bodies. It’s carried through generations, often in ways that are invisible until we pause to look closer.

When a community is told that their identity, culture, and very existence are “wrong,” that message doesn’t disappear. It seeps into the nervous system. It reshapes how safety is felt, how belonging is sought, and even how people learn to inhabit their bodies.
For many, this means food, appearance, and body image are tangled with survival.

Restriction, scarcity, or hyper-vigilance around how one looks aren’t always about vanity — they’re echoes of deeper wounds. What was once about survival gets passed down as silence, shame, or strict rules around the body.

Psychologically, we know that traumatic invalidation — being told your feelings, your story, or even your existence doesn’t matter — creates deep mistrust in the self. That mistrust often shows up in the body: not feeling at home in it, not trusting its cues, or constantly trying to reshape it to “fit in.”

But here’s the powerful part: cycles can be interrupted. Awareness allows us to say, this ends with me. We can choose to validate what was denied, to reclaim gentleness where there was shame, and to model for the next generation what it means to live in a body with respect instead of fear.

🧡 As we reflect today, let’s hold space for the truth: colonization didn’t just take land — it disrupted people’s sense of self, body, and belonging. Reconciliation is not only collective; it also includes how we honour the bodies and voices of those most impacted.

💭 Reflection question: What’s one story about body, food, or worth that you want to end with you — so it isn’t passed on

09/25/2025

Sometimes the right words at the right moment can change how we see ourselves — especially when it comes to our bodies. 💭

“Your body isn’t a problem to fix.”
Hearing this reminds us that bodies are not mistakes or projects; they are living, moving, functioning vessels.

“Stop apologizing for taking up space.”
This reframes the subtle messages many of us internalized growing up — that our bodies must shrink or hide to be acceptable. Psychologically, giving ourselves permission to exist fully in our bodies reduces shame and increases self-trust.

“Move because it feels good, not to punish yourself.”
Exercise is often framed as a moral obligation, but when we reconnect movement to pleasure and function rather than punishment, we strengthen both body and mind.

“Your body works for you, not against you.”
Reframing our internal dialogue in this way helps combat the negative self-talk that diet culture instills, fostering a sense of gratitude and collaboration with our bodies.

“You don’t need to love your body, but you can respect it.”
Perfection isn’t the goal. Respect is. Respect creates consistency, mindfulness, and a foundation for healthier habits — both physical and psychological.

Healing body image isn’t about daily love or constant positivity. It’s about shifting the scripts we’ve internalized and giving ourselves permission to exist fully and kindly in our bodies. Every time we choose respect over criticism, we’re rewiring our brains and modeling a healthier relationship for the next generation. 🌿

💬 I’d love to hear from you: which of these statements resonates most with your journey?

For support on your body image resilience journey, follow 🙋🏻‍♀️
Also follow my practice for everyday mental wellness 🏡

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

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09/24/2025

Becoming a mother changes so many things — your body, your routines, your priorities, and often the way you see yourself. For many, it also brings up old struggles with body image in new ways. The transition into parenthood can shift how you feel in your skin, as your body carries the visible and invisible marks of this new chapter.

But here’s the truth: when we work on healing our relationship with our bodies, we don’t just do it for ourselves. We do it for the little eyes watching us. For the tiny humans who will one day grow up learning what it means to treat their bodies with respect, care, and compassion.

Every time we choose to rest instead of push past exhaustion, every time we nourish our bodies without guilt, every time we challenge the thought that our worth is tied to size — we are modeling something powerful.

Healing body image as a mother isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing your child that bodies change, stretch, grow, and age — and they are worthy at every stage. It’s about creating a home where food isn’t feared, where appearance isn’t the main topic of conversation, and where love isn’t conditional on how someone looks.

Raising the next generation starts with how we speak to ourselves and how we speak about bodies in front of them. That’s the legacy we get to pass on. 🌿

For support on your body image resilience journey, follow 🙋🏻‍♀️
Also follow my practice for everyday mental wellness 🏡

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

09/19/2025

✨ Ever finish a meal and realize you barely tasted it? Or find yourself eating while scrolling, rushing, or stressing—only to feel disconnected and unsatisfied after? That’s what happens when we eat on autopilot.

So many of us were never taught how to tune into hunger, fullness, or satisfaction cues. Instead, we were taught food rules, diet culture “dos and don’ts,” or to finish what’s on the plate no matter what. Over time, this creates a disconnect: we stop listening to our body and start outsourcing trust to external rules.

That’s where mindful eating comes in. 🌿
Mindful eating isn’t another diet or rigid set of rules—it’s the opposite. It’s about slowing down, getting curious, and rebuilding trust with your body.

Psychological research shows mindful eating can:
✅ Decrease overeating and binge eating
✅ Reduce food guilt and shame
✅ Increase satisfaction and joy from eating
✅ Support long-term body image healing

And it doesn’t have to be complicated. Mindful eating can be as simple as:
🍓 Taking one deep breath before your first bite
🍓 Noticing flavors, textures, and sensations
🍓 Pausing halfway through to check in: “Am I still hungry? Am I satisfied?”

The more we practice, the more eating shifts from stress and guilt → connection and care.

💌 If you’d like some extra support, I created a free mindful eating meditation to help you slow down and experience food in a new way.

👉 Comment “mindful eating” and I’ll send it your way.

You deserve to eat with presence, peace, and pleasure—not pressure. ✨

For support on your body image resilience journey, follow 🙋🏻‍♀️
Also follow my practice for everyday mental wellness 🏡

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

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09/17/2025

✨ 5 statements I can’t approve of as a body image psychologist ✨

These are things I hear all the time—sometimes from clients, sometimes from friends, and often from the culture we live in. They might sound “normal,” but they actually reinforce harmful beliefs about bodies and worth. Let’s unpack them together ⬇️

1️⃣ “You’d be happier if you just lost a few pounds.”
Nope. Happiness isn’t found on a scale. While body changes can bring temporary boosts, research shows that long-term wellbeing comes from how we relate to ourselves—not from weight alone.
2️⃣ “Just eat less and exercise more and you’ll feel better.”
This oversimplifies a deeply complex relationship with food, body, and health. Restriction and punishment don’t lead to peace—they usually fuel cycles of guilt, shame, and rebound behaviors.
3️⃣ “Look at her—I wish I looked like that.”
Comparison is one of the biggest body image traps. The more we compare, the less satisfied we feel. Healing comes from shifting the focus inward: What does my body need today? How can I connect with it with kindness?
4️⃣ “If I get surgery, I’ll finally feel okay in my body.”
Cosmetic procedures might change appearance, but they can’t rewrite internalized criticism or fix low self-worth. True healing comes from working on the relationship you have with yourself, not just the surface.
5️⃣ “There’s a perfect body everyone should have.”
The truth? Body diversity is the norm. There isn’t one “ideal.” Health and happiness look different for each of us, and your worth was never meant to be measured against an unrealistic standard.

🌿 Healing your body image means questioning these statements, noticing when they show up in your own mind, and practicing compassion instead of criticism.

💬 I’d love to hear: which of these statements have you heard most often in your world?

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

09/10/2025

✨ Today is World Su***de Prevention Day — a reminder that these conversations are not optional. They are life-saving.

What we don’t talk about enough is the link between body image and su***de risk.

Research shows that:

People with negative body image are at significantly higher risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviours.

Low body regard (feeling disconnected from or dissatisfied with your body) increases the likelihood that suicidal thoughts turn into attempts.

Eating disorders carry one of the highest su***de risks of any mental health condition. In fact, individuals with anorexia are estimated to be up to 18 times more likely to die by su***de than the general population.

Women who undergo certain cosmetic procedures, such as breast augmentation, show up to double the rate of su***de compared to women who have not. These findings highlight how surgery often does not resolve the underlying pain tied to body dissatisfaction or disorders like Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

💡 This matters because body image isn’t just about “confidence” or “self-esteem.” It’s about mental health, safety, and survival. Healing your relationship with your body is not vanity — it is an act of protection, compassion, and resilience.

🌿 If you are struggling:
In Canada, you can call or text 988 any time.
You can also reach out to Talk Su***de Canada at 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645.
For eating disorder–specific support, NEDIC offers confidential chat and phone services at nedic.ca.

And if you’re seeking longer-term support, our team at Uprise Psychology & Wellness is here to help with compassionate, evidence-based care. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Today, let’s break the silence. 💛 Share this post, save it for later, or send it to someone who needs the reminder: your body is not the problem, and your life is worth protecting.

***dePreventionDay ***dePrevention

09/09/2025

✨ You’re not confused, you’re just unlearning.

So many of the thoughts we carry about our bodies didn’t come from us — they came from our upbringing, from cultural ideals, and sometimes even from friendships that mirrored back judgment instead of compassion. When you feel “lost” in how you see yourself, it’s often because your mind is caught between old scripts and new truths you’re trying to grow into.

From a psychological perspective, this is what we call *cognitive dissonance*: the discomfort that arises when long-held beliefs clash with new, healthier ways of thinking. It’s not a sign that something is wrong with you — it’s a sign that you’re in the process of change.

It can be especially challenging when body image is tangled up with early experiences. Maybe you grew up in an environment where weight, food, or appearance were constant topics. Maybe your friendships echoed those same pressures. Over time, these messages become internalized and feel like “truth,” even when they’re harmful.

Healing means pausing to notice: *Whose voice am I hearing right now? My own, or someone else’s that I’ve carried with me?*
The more you practice this awareness, the more space you create to respond with compassion rather than criticism.

🌿 Gentle reminder: You are not broken. You are becoming more aligned with yourself. And on days when you feel confused or lost, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re doing the brave work of untangling old stories.

📌 Save this post for the moments you need grounding.
💬 And if it resonates, share one belief about your body you’re ready to release.

For support on your body image resilience journey, follow 🙋🏻‍♀️
Also follow my practice for everyday mental wellness 🏡

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

09/04/2025

As moms, we live in a world that constantly whispers—sometimes screams—that our bodies are projects, that our worth is tied to a number on a scale, or that food is moral. Diet culture teaches us to feel shame for existing in a body that has carried life, grown humans, and worked tirelessly.

But here’s the truth psychology teaches us: our bodies are not failures to fix—they are survival machines. Every curve, scar, and stretch mark tells a story of resilience and care, not imperfection. Guilt over food, comparison to curated feeds, or chasing an arbitrary ‘ideal’ doesn’t make us better; it teaches our brains to mistrust ourselves.

And here’s the part that matters most: the way we treat and speak about our bodies models the relationship our children will have with theirs. When we show self-love, acceptance, and gratitude—even in a world obsessed with thinness and perfection—we give them a powerful gift: permission to live free from shame.

For support on your body image resilience journey, follow 🙋🏻‍♀️
Also follow my practice for everyday mental wellness 🏡

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

05/22/2024

Here’s a quick guide to what to do when pants (or other clothes) don’t fit.
I’ve been having so many conversations lately about pants not fitting. Facing the frustration of pants not fitting anymore can trigger a cascade of negative thoughts about our bodies. As a psychologist specializing in women’s body image, I understand the deep emotional toll this can take. But let me remind you, your worth is not measured by the size of your pants. Body image is an experience, not a reality about your body. Instead of succumbing to self-criticism, let’s reframe this moment as an opportunity for self-compassion and growth. Remember, our bodies are constantly changing, and that’s okay. You are worthy of kindness and respect – no matter the size of your pants.
Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

05/09/2024

Radical Acceptance of Your Current Body💕

Radical acceptance is about acknowledging and embracing reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. When it comes to body image, radical acceptance involves recognizing and accepting your body exactly as it is in this moment, regardless of whether it aligns with societal standards or personal ideals.

Why Radical Acceptance Matters ⬇️

1️⃣Promotes Mental Well-being: Constantly striving for an idealized body image can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Radical acceptance fosters a sense of peace and contentment with oneself, promoting mental well-being.

2️⃣Reduces Negative Body Image: Accepting your body as it is can reduce negative body image thoughts and behaviors. Instead of fixating on perceived flaws, you can focus on the unique qualities and strengths of your body.

3️⃣Improves Self-esteem: Embracing your body fosters a positive self-image and boosts self-esteem. When you accept yourself unconditionally, you recognize your inherent worth beyond physical appearance.

4️⃣Fosters Self-compassion: Radical acceptance involves treating yourself with kindness and compassion, even in the face of imperfection. This self-compassion cultivates a supportive inner dialogue, which is essential for a healthy body image.

5️⃣Encourages Authenticity: Embracing your body as it is allows you to live authentically, without hiding or masking your true self. This authenticity enhances self-confidence and strengthens relationships with others.

By embracing your body as it is and promoting positive body image, you can lead a more fulfilling and authentic life while inspiring others to do the same.

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

05/01/2024

As it is Maternal Mental Health day, I wanted to share a post about a topic we don’t talk about much in perinatal mental health: body image.
Understanding the intricate relationship between body image dissatisfaction and perinatal mental health is crucial in supporting the well-being of mothers during and after pregnancy. Research consistently shows that negative body image can significantly impact mental health outcomes during the perinatal period, contributing to conditions such as postpartum depression and anxiety.

As a psychologist specializing in body image and perinatal mental health, I’ve witnessed firsthand the toll that societal pressures and unrealistic standards can take on expecting and new mothers. The physical changes that accompany pregnancy and childbirth can often exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and self-criticism, leading to a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions.

But it’s not just about appearance. Negative body image can permeate every aspect of a mother’s life, affecting her self-esteem, confidence, and overall sense of well-being. It can strain relationships, hinder bonding with the baby, and even impact maternal-infant attachment.

That’s why it’s crucial to raise awareness about the costs of negative body image and advocate for greater support and resources for mothers experiencing these challenges. By fostering a culture of body acceptance and promoting realistic expectations, we can help alleviate the burden of shame and guilt that many mothers carry.

To all the mothers out there: your worth is not determined by your appearance. You are strong, beautiful, and deserving of support. Let’s work together to break the stigma surrounding body image and ensure that every mother receives the care and compassion she deserves.
Silveira, M. L., Ertel, K. A., Dole, N., & Chasan-Taber, L. (2015). The role of body image in prenatal and postpartum depression: a critical review of the literature. Archives of women’s mental health, 18, 409-421.

Disclaimer: My social media accounts are for educational purposes only and should not be considered psychotherapy or medical care.

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04/24/2024

Infertility and negative body image.
Infertility can be a deeply challenging journey, impacting not only one's hopes for parenthood but also their sense of self and body image. The toll of fertility struggles can lead to a profound disconnect with one's body, as it feels like a betrayer of desires and dreams. Each negative pregnancy test, each unsuccessful treatment, can chip away at self-esteem, fostering feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. As a psychologist specializing in infertility and body image, I've witnessed firsthand the intricate dance between the desire for a child and the turmoil of self-doubt and self-criticism. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are valid and to offer compassionate support, helping individuals navigate this complex emotional landscape with kindness and understanding. Healing begins with acknowledging the pain and embracing the journey towards self-acceptance and resilience, reclaiming a positive relationship with both body and self along the path to parenthood.

Dr. Melisa Arias-Valenzuela, CPsych

10/01/2025

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