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Laura Tamutis Psychotherapy

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Laura Tamutis Psychotherapy

Laura Tamutis Psychotherapy is a space dedicated for you to build a deeper understanding of yourself and/ or your partner.

Laura Tamutis offers psychotherapy and counselling services for Couples and Individuals.

10/26/2021

A big lesson I have learned lately is that relationships should feel easy

You shouldn’t have to expend all of your energy in order to make something work

You shouldn’t feel drained after spending time with your friends or romantic partner, however so many of us keep people in our lives because of familiarity, obligation, and fear

Part of self-compassion and being kind to ourselves is having boundaries. This means saving our energy for those that add instead of subtract from our lives.

It’s important to take a step back sometimes and observe how we feel with others.

• What does this person bring to my life?”
• “is it a reciprocal relationship?”
• “am I hanging on out of fear of being alone or without this connection?”

It’s hard and awkward to let go but this is the only way we can make space for those who can help us grow along our journey

Your worth it, this is growth🤍

09/05/2021

Life has been feeling a little off track for me lately

I thought having the career I’ve always wanted would be enough. But I am learning that you can’t get ALL your fulfillment from one thing.

So I needed to take a step back to self discover and get in touch with who I am besides being a therapist — where do I see my life going? What do I want? (this is still ongoing)

Many of us think that achievement = education, career, or a family but success has so many different flavours

So I invite you to get in touch with how you want to feel instead of what you want to achieve.

• What does an ideal day look like for you? Who is there?

• What lights you up?

• What feelings do you want experience everyday, week, year?

And remember! It’s ok that things feel off track, just awareness of this is growth. Let this be a calling to connect back to what nourishes your soul. It only takes small steps to get back to feeling like you 🤍

08/12/2021

A most common thing I hear is unnecessary guilt for putting our own needs ahead of others

The truth is we all have to attend to our needs before serving others. When we neglect these THIS is when we can damage the relationship or resent people.

So… Here’s a reminder that you are not selfish for putting your emotional, physical, mental, spiritual needs ahead of others

Being self compassionate is also preserving your energy for those that are important to you and for your passions

Boundaries are difficult but at the end of the day it’s either they’re hurt or you’re pushing aside your authenticity and needs which hurts you in the end.

Choose yourself and the things/ people that make you feel the best🤍

07/12/2021

I often hear “you have to have something seriously wrong to go to therapy”…

That you have to be in a certain state to work on your mental health or you’re “too dramatic”.

When really therapy is just a space that’s for you, and we all can benefit from an hour weekly, biweekly, or monthly to talk about ourselves.

I went to therapy to enhance my life, to have better relationships with myself and others. I was also in my masters and noticed that I was unable to take risks, I didn’t feel good enough or comfortable in my skin, and I wanted to learn why.

So let’s reframe. There is no line where you “need therapy” or you don’t.

Therapy isn’t only there when something is wrong, in my experience as a client and a therapist it’s often a place where we learn that what we feel makes perfect sense.

Just because your reality is objectively better than someone else’s doesn’t mean you don’t have pain. Pain is pain. We all deserve an objective third party, and a non-biased space curated for us🤍

06/24/2021

We often evaluate emotional strength by the way someone is outwardly dealing with difficulties.

This is often someone who doesn’t cry, can be stoic and pushes through adversity

When really emotional strength is defined by resilience— someone’s internal coping abilities.

Research shows that Resilience is defined by 3 factors:

✨Pervasiveness: the ability to see that the problem will not impact all areas of your life

✨Permanence: the problem is only temporary

✨Personalization: the problem is not always your fault

It’s important we shift our view of emotional strength for more compassion towards others and ourself🤍

We all suffer, you are not weak for feeling the way you do!

06/15/2021

It is so easy to stray from a path of authenticity and onto a path of comparison

Our world is competitive and can lead to self criticism when we don’t have what others do

When we compare our experience to another or make decisions based on how others will feel we are not living for us

This means when we fail or make a mistake it’s easier to blame ourselves, “I must be wrong” “I didn’t do enough”

When we are choosing to live based on our values and morals we are better able to give ourselves self-compassion when mistakes arise “it didn’t align”

This is why it’s critical we stay on a path that is based in our wants and needs instead of what we “should do”

✨What is FULFILLING for you?
✨ What triggers self comparison?

06/08/2021

Daily committed action is how we work towards better mental health

Reminding yourself that you are not your thoughts moves you towards better mental health

Choosing positivity while acknowledging your suffering is how you move towards better mental health

Challenging your fears without overwhelming yourself is how you move towards better mental health

Turning doubt and criticism to compassion is how you move towards better mental health

You have everything you need to thrive 🤍

05/25/2021

Do you ever find yourself thinking “I should of done this?”

Shoulds and musts are unrealistic expectations that take away your freedom and choice

Behind the shoulding and musting there can be unrealistic expectations of ourselves which can lead to feelings of guilt, disappointment, frustration and failure

This thought pattern can create an ever perpetuating cycle of stress, perfectionism, depression and anxiety

So this is the reminder you needed to hear to live life on your terms

To ask yourself often “where did I learn that I should, shouldn’t of must do x”

To do what your heart needs and what nourishes your soul✨💭

05/20/2021

In therapy there is a focus on building more open and flexible thought patterns.

“I failed” is something I hear VERY often. I I think this comes from criticism and pressure we feel by society and in childhood. As well as school where you either pass or fail, something that doesn’t really reflect the real world.

The truth is if we regard ourselves as failing were less likely to get up and try again

BUT if we can reframe were much more likely to try again, grow and reach our true potential

What happens when you feel like you’ve failed?

05/18/2021

I notice that so many of us struggle with selfcompassion

We often think that criticizing ourselves, pushing through and being mean gets us further

When in reality if we can’t give ourselves self compassion we feel stressed, anxious and not enough

Here’s a reminder that mental health is similar to physical health in the sense that it takes consistent effort to feel better about ourselves

I hope you can start today with some self compassion 🤍

In case you haven’t heard it today, you are enough and worthy.

05/13/2021

I often help clients validate and recognize their accomplishments...

Yet, I had such a difficult time celebrating and giving this to myself. I’d often say: “anyone can do it” and think about the next thing I could accomplish.

I was so future and goal focused, that I rarely lived in the moment — a product of our fast pace culture.

Then the pandemic happened...

I started going on walks, noticing the buds on the trees, and the sounds of the birds.

I began to just be thankful for the walk with a friend or being able to move my body —things I took for granted.

I began to recognize and celebrate the things I had achieved, whether it was going for a walk that day when it felt hard, or getting everything done on my list.

The time I had to pause was scary at first, but it gave me the space to reflect— what I have and who I am is enough.

Let this be a reminder to pause more and notice what is right in front of you.

To give yourself more credit

To stop, be kind, and reframe the mean things you say to yourself

To validate yourself often 🤍

What have you overcome?

05/07/2021

In order to have deep and meaningful relationships we must be vulnerable

Often why we fear this because we’ve felt judged, criticized, pitty or shut down when we share our inner world

We may also view sharing the difficult things as “burdening others” and “negative”

We must change our mindset that struggles mean weakness, burdening, and negativity to vulnerability strengthens bonds and creates safer relationships

I hope this can be your reminder to share your inner world with safe people and to relieve your feelings of isolation and loneliness

It takes courage and vulnerability to be the first to send a text, to share something AND it is the only way to connect🤍

05/05/2021

Things that cannot coexist✨🤍

05/03/2021

Have you heard of the term “emotional selfcare”?

When we think of self care we often think of physical or mental self care.
Examples include watching your favourite show, work out, yoga, creativity.

Emotional selfcare is based in BOUNDARIES, it may be preserving your energy and limiting your access to others.

It may be choosing to give to yourself instead of others.

This is a reminder to pay attention to your capacity to help and be there for others.

To notice who’s around you when you feel your best.

Because believe it or not boundaried relationships are showing your love for yourself and others.

✨What does it look like to practice emotional selfcare for you?

04/23/2021

Do you find it difficult to recharge lately? Same, same.

WHY is this so hard right now!?

I see that many of our needs cannot be met (ie. social, breaks, playtime etc.) and all of this change is stressful and has an impact on our mind body and spirit.

Many of us have a limiting beliefs around self care and it prevents us from RESTING, and causes BURNOUT.

Let’s reframe self care

Let’s shift the INTENT from something productive to recharging and effortless

Let’s reflect on things that meet your unique needs

What refuels your mind, body, and spirit? 🤍✨

04/20/2021

“Productivity”

✨When have we stopped to explore the impact this construct has on our current mental functioning?

✨Has the meaning of it changed in the last year?

I have noticed that one of the biggest stressors in our lives during a lockdown is NOT the virus it is being productive

WHY? Often our self-worth has been tied to this construct, through education, through society, and through other influences.

This causes us to feel guilty for doing nothing and for resting. The very thing we are told to do right now.

So let’s redefine what “productive” is right now.

Let’s shift the INTENT of productivity from completing a task or bettering yourself to something that nourishes your soul

Let’s be kind to ourselves when we have less motivation to work, to fulfill tasks, when we couldn’t get the workout done, and when we procrastinate because they are all appropriate responses to this.

Do what feels good 🤎🤍

04/15/2021

✨ Since becoming a therapist I have concluded that we are obsessed with figuring out “the right decision”

Time after time clients come in expecting me to give them advice and most are shocked to learn that its not what we do

I truly think believing someone may know best gives us a sense of control and safety

However, obsessing over whether you are making the right decision or not is just a fear based belief that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.

I think this is what gets in the way of risk taking, your true needs and dreams, and is keeping you stuck.

Would you take more risks if you knew that the universe had no fixed agenda?

Would you be where you are if you believed that once you made a decision, it works around that decision?

What would be different if you focused on what you NEED rather than what is right or wrong?

04/13/2021

Who’s tired of being tired?
Who’s tired of change?

All of this is exhausting and we’re not meant to endure this much change and disruption.

Physical exhaustion is usually the one we think of, it’s when we feel sleepy, maybe we need physical rest to recuperate

Emotional exhaustion might be common for those who are in helping professions right now

Values exhaustion might be the fact that you really disagree with the restrictions, they go against your values

Cognitive exhaustion might be all the cramming and quadmesters you had to endure while dealing with a global pandemic

I invite you to explore your exhaustion: what type is it? what is it calling me to do?

We all get tired we’re human, we’re not robots, this pandemic affects us sometimes in ways we’re not aware of, it’s heavy. It’s okay if your capacity is limited (I know mine is)

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Ottawa, ON

Opening Hours

Tuesday	9am - 5pm
Friday	9am - 5pm

Telephone

+16137910039

Website

http://lauratamutis.com/

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