09/14/2020
Today marked the first day of the first full week my 3 (soon to be 4) year old, 7 year old and 9 year old attended school. Our family has been tested by many changes in this past year including the journey through divorce, two houses my children call "home", Covid-19, as well as "back to school"/"beginning school".
Today was especially challenging; my 9 year old struggles with change to begin with, let alone the change he has faced this past year. Today he experienced elevated levels of anxiety almost the moment he woke. His anxiety took many forms this morning and unfortunately continued well into our good-byes as I dropped him off at school. Not the way I would wish to send my children out into their day.
My 3 year old wanted to remain with Mama today, and displayed his discontent while getting in the car, while dropping him off at school and while I pulled away from the school grounds. This sounds harsh, but you see, Covid has us in a situation where I cannot come into the school with him. Actually I can't even leave the side of my vehicle to encourage him towards the school. There is no blame be passed to anyone, it's just the way it is in order to ensure the safest possible scenario while many families send their children to school. Besides, it isn't the "divine diva" way to pass blame.
My 7 year old rolls with most changes and challenges, but can be extremely stubborn when he chooses...he chose today. Why not? His brothers were already in the "challenging day" category and the saying is, "if you can't beat them, join them".
As I drove away, in tears, I reflected on the interactions and exchanges with my children this morning. As I scanned through each moment that I would describe as defining, I found a common quality. In the face of the challenges presented to me, I chose to remain calm, I chose to empathize, and I chose to set boundaries, and above all else I consciously decided to be the leader through adversity for my children. By no means am I saying my children were happy with the decisions I made and provided. My 3 year old was accompanied by his principal into school, my 7 year old was advised that his attitude could use some adjusting and that that was entirely his choice to take the advise or not, and my 9 year old was encouraged to use his own voice and speak up if he required assistance while at school (as oppose to me emailing the teachers and/or principal).
What I am saying is that I made conscious choices, to the best of my ability, in the moments of chaos and turmoil. Being able to find my inner peace allowed me to make what I call "divine" decisions, that is, decisions that will provide my children an opportunity to find their personal "divine paths of life" so that they may attune to their own inner peace and be able to see the joy that remains within them and around them, once again.
This year has been tough for all of us, but by being able to cultivate and maintain my inner "divine diva" I am able to continue the rest of my day confident that when my children return they too will have stories to share that demonstrate they were successful at cultivating and maintaining their own inner "divine dudes".
May you all be successful at cultivating and maintaining your inner "divine beings" today.
Best of Health,
Devon
