03/08/2024
Do you set strict boundaries in your life? And I mean - Do you set boundaries - without negotiating, without eventually giving in, without trying to make peace?
When was the last time you said no to someone who usually manipulates you into saying yes even when you really don't want to?
This week, for the first time, I said no to someone in my life who I struggle ever saying no to... for the sake of peace.
I know, to some of you, this may sound like no big deal, but for me - this is huge!
I won't lie - initially, it caused a trauma response, which my whole body showed with anxiety, panic, excessively shaking, and with bouncing or 'flickering' thoughts.
I am learning that it is ok to say no even if your body otherwise feels that person is unsafe. I have no shame in saying no to friends or family who feel safe to me, but saying no to someone who feels unsafe? I would tell myself that I do it - but really, I'm not because it can be soooo scary, and I would rather keep the peace by negotiating or giving in.
After my initial panick, I reminded myself,'Krista, you are safe, you are surrounded by love, God is there for you, Logan is there for you, it's ok!'
Eventually, my panic subsided, and I felt overwhelmed with empowerment!
Rationally talking yourself through situations where you feel scared or unsure is totally normal. In order for us to overcome these obstacles in life, we will have to baby step our way to those goals whether we like it or not!
Setting boundaries with the person you feel most unsafe around is going to be a priority in your life.
You know what's funny? I have been working on setting healthy boundaries for the past 3 years since I have felt safe to do so with my husband, family, and friends. But... It was just this past 6 months, I recognized there are still 1 or 2 people in my life who I have so much trauma around that I have a very hard time not standing my ground, saying no, OR my go to - negotiating an agreement even though I disagree strongly and I end up being taken advantage of.
How empowering this journey has been!
What are you working on in your healing journey?