Andrea The Anxiety Expert

22/03/2026

This statement is a classic example of gaslighting and emotional manipulation because it shifts responsibility away from the husband (the one who caused the harm) by trying to make out the wife’s response (putting a boundary in place and protecting herself) is the problem.

The real issue here, the reason for the wife filing for divorce is the affairs. However, the husband reframes the situation to make it about the wife’s inability to “forgive and forget.”

Instead of acknowledging the betrayal, he’s trying to shift the focus ….

”You’ll never forgive.” and “I can’t win,” are subtly communicating that her reaction is the problem, not the behaviour that caused the hurt.

Gaslighting tries to distort reality.
In this example the REALITY is:
He had affairs - She discovered them - She decided to divorce - End of.

The manipulated DISTORTION becomes:
The wife’s unreasonable - She refuses to forgive & forget - The husband is the ‘victim’ because he “can’t win.”

This tactic pressures the wife to feel:
- Guilty for setting a boundary
- Responsible for the end of the relationship
- Selfish for protecting herself

It tries to project the feelings of wrongdoing and guilt onto her.

This is a prime example of all accountability being avoided.

A HEALTHY response would acknowledge the hurt and upset, take responsibility for it and accept the consequences.

Instead, it suggests the outcome (the wife filing for divorce) is an unfair response.

It also tries to make the wife feel guilty by pressuring her to forgive & forgetting - we’re here facing divorce because you won’t forgive what I’ve done…you’re fault for your incapacity to forgive.

The phrase “forgive and forget” suggests that the wife’s forgiveness should be immediate, the betrayal should be overlooked quickly and moving on is the only “reasonable” choice.

This completely invalidates the wife’s feelings and emotional reality.

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DM me if you’re dealing with this and would like someone in your corner with you…it’s not a fight but your ex treats it like one and his gloves are off.

20/03/2026

“I’m going to make you go crazy.”
This is what my client’s husband told her when she asked for a divorce.
This is what manipulation and control looks like.

She’s filed for divorce and he’s telling her not to use the legal system (because he says they’ll take all their money).

He’s pressuring her to agree to his financial settlement suggestion, trying to persuade her by telling her friends and family what an amazing offer it is and he can’t understand why she won’t just accept it.

Red flag 🚩 Red flag 🚩 Red flag 🚩

You know he’s lied and cheated so why would he be any different now?

You know he’s a charmer, that he likes to peacock 🦚 and you also know your intuition.

Pause, breathe, you don’t have to make any decisions just because he’s pressurising you to (or your friends and family and telling you to (they weren’t married to him, they don’t know him like you do)

Go at your pace, take legal advice, know you are always being guided, are loved and supported and that you are never alone even though this feels very lonely right now.

Make your decision when the time’s right for you. 🤗

18/03/2026

16/03/2026

Many teenagers I work with who are struggling with exam anxiety in Lytham St Anne’s and Fylde area are:

Conscientious, caring and motivated young people who attend strong academic schools.

They work hard to do well.
They want to make their parents proud.
They take their future prospects seriously.
They strive to achieve their very best.
They often put a lot of pressure on themselves.

When expectations are high (and this can be from school, peers, siblings and themselves) the pressure builds and even the very capable, high achieving students can start feeling stressed, overwhelmed and burnt out.

In my sessions we:
⭐️learn how to calm the nervous system
⭐️manage the stream of anxious thoughts
⭐️begin to approach exams with a calm confidence
⭐️build a toolkit of coping strategies

Supporting teenagers through exams isn’t about lowering expectations, it’s about meeting them where they’re at, listening to them and helping them develop a toolkit of coping strategies that will not only help them during the upcoming exams but for all future exams they may sit.

If you’re a parent in Lytham, St Anne’s, Ansdell or surrounding areas supporting a teenager through GCSEs, A-levels or university exams, I’ll be sharing guidance here.

🌿 I’ll also soon be opening a small exam anxiety support programme for teenagers and parents locally.

Follow for more support & info.

11/03/2026

You’re a worried, exhausted parent who is at their wits end.

You’ve tried talking to school with varied amounts of success, you’ve tried talking to the GP and they have done all the checks for the poorly tummy and the headaches and they’ve found nothing amiss.

They may have even advised you to ‘watch and wait’ for things to get worse or they may have referred you for some support (but there’s at least a 6 month waiting list).

If your child worries about everything, refuses school, or struggles to sleep… you’re not a bad parent. Anxiety in children is more common than you think.

That’s why I started my business.

I’m Andrea and I’ve worked in schools as a teacher and mental health& emotional well-being practitioner for over 20 years. I’m now in my private practice supporting parents, children, young people and adults who are finding worry, anxiety and stress is weighing heavy.

I help you understand anxiety and worry, feel calmer and less overwhelmed, lighter and more able to cope with life and get more out of it.

Get in touch, I’m here for you, you’re not on your own.

10/03/2026

If you want to nip things in the bud, get in touch because this is about clinically proven, evidence-based, guided self help work that doesn’t involve waiting lists, labels or diagnosis.

Instead, this work educates, encourages and empowers you to see what’s really going on in your body & mind and how you (and/or your chid) can get back in the driving seat of your own life.

Get in touch if you’re ready to take the wheel 🤗

Send a message to learn more

09/03/2026

Whatever you’re struggling with at the moment, you are most definitely not on your own.

I’m Andrea The Anxiety Expert and these are just a small selection of clients I’ve worked with.

Whilst we all have anxious thoughts and worries if they’re weighing heavy for you at the moment and preventing you from getting the most out of your life, I hear you and I’m here for you.

Reach out for a chat x

09/03/2026

💜💚 Happy International Women’s Day 💚💜 Tonight, the iconic Blackpool Tower will be lit up in purple, green and white to celebrate International Women's Day

08/03/2026

I’d forgotten how much I loved cycling as a kid.
I used to play out on my bike all day long down our street and on tracks in the woods.

We know exercise and fresh air plus joining others who enjoy the same activity has amazing benefits for our mental and physical health.

Reconnecting with an activity you once enjoyed as a child is so healthy too because we’re getting back to who we truly are underneath all the labels, names, roles and responsibilities we take on as women.

Today I absolutely loved getting out and cycling again …I saw a heron, a bird of prey, lots of ducks and some very pregnant sheep.

I met up with lovely cycling friend from and enjoyed a lovely coffee as a always .p.e.x.s.o.c.i.a.l
Thank you Joy 🙏🏻☕️❤️

I’m now in training for the Coast 2 Coast Tour in June… so excited for this 🚲

Is there one small thing you can do today to reconnect with your inner child & give yourself permission to just have some fun again?