03/10/2025
Met my younger self for coffee today.
She got there tipsy from the night before, I got there with a clear mind and a heart full of hope.
Her hair was a deep brown, always straightened, always safe. Mine is bright ginger now, full of life, wild and free.
She wore black, always black. It was slimming, it hid her. I wear colour now, prints and patterns, things that make me feel alive.
She lived in rented spaces that never felt like home. I invite her to my house, walls painted in beautiful colours, strawberries on them, warmth in every corner.
She was searching through drinks, through strangers, through endless nights, trying to numb pain she could not name. I tell her I know that pain. I tell her there were days I hurt myself because I did not think I would ever get better.
She did not feel good enough, did not know what love without conditions felt like. I tell her I am surrounded now by the most amazing people, friends who have become family, and that healing is possible even when it feels out of reach.
She did not know where she was going, did not think she had a future. I tell her I work in private practice now, helping people heal in the ways I once needed. I tell her recovery is not only possible, but real. There is life, colour and joy beyond the pain.
She tells me she feels lost. I tell her that is okay. I tell her there is hope. 🧡
