23/04/2025
Why Do I Feel Like Everyone’s Judging Me?” — The Truth About Social Anxiety
Let’s get one thing straight: social anxiety isn’t just “being shy” or “not liking parties.” It’s that gnawing, stomach-twisting dread that hits you before a phone call, during a meeting, or even just walking into a room full of people. It’s overthinking every word you said three days ago and beating yourself up because you think you sounded stupid.
Social anxiety is exhausting. Full stop.
So What Is Social Anxiety?
Social Anxiety Disorder (also called social phobia) is a mental health condition where everyday interactions cause intense fear, embarrassment, or self-consciousness. It’s not that you don’t want to talk to people — you just feel like the world is a stage and you’re constantly about to be judged, rejected, or humiliated.
And spoiler alert: most people aren’t judging you. They’re too busy worrying about themselves. But when you’re in the grip of social anxiety, logic goes out the window and the fear feels very, very real.
Signs You’re Not Just “Shy”
You dread speaking in public — even in small groups
You avoid eye contact like it’s going to burn your soul
You replay conversations in your head and cringe for hours (or days)
You worry about sweating, blushing, or saying the “wrong” thing
You cancel plans last-minute because you just can’t face it
You’re overly sensitive to criticism, even if it’s meant kindly
Sound familiar? Then this might be more than just introversion.
Where Does It Come From?
Like most anxiety-related stuff, it’s a cocktail of nature and nurture. Maybe you had critical parents, were bullied in school, or just have a naturally sensitive temperament. Social anxiety often starts in the teenage years — right when fitting in feels like life or death — and it can stick around into adulthood if it’s not addressed.
The brain loves patterns. If your mind learns that social situations = danger, then your fight-or-flight system will kick in even when there’s no actual threat.
The Lies Social Anxiety Tells You
“Everyone’s staring at you.”
“You sound like an idiot.”
“They’re all laughing about you, not with you.”
“You shouldn’t speak up — you’ll just embarrass yourself.”
These thoughts aren’t facts. They’re fear talking. The more you believe them, the more you avoid situations — and the more your anxiety grows. It’s a vicious cycle.
So What Can You Do About It?
1. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is the gold standard for social anxiety. It helps you spot those sneaky, negative thoughts and challenge them with evidence. It’s not about “thinking positive” — it’s about thinking realistic.
2. Exposure
Avoidance feeds anxiety. Exposure (in small, manageable doses) helps you build confidence. Maybe it’s saying hi to a stranger, then asking a question in a meeting. Bit by bit, you prove to yourself that you can survive social interaction.
3. Medication
Sometimes, your brain chemistry needs a little help. SSRIs (like sertraline) are commonly prescribed for social anxiety. No shame in that.
4. Self-Compassion
This one’s underrated. Social anxiety is brutal, and you need to stop being your own worst critic. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to ease up.
5. Practice. And Then Practise Some More.
Confidence doesn’t fall out of the sky. You earn it through practice. Social skills, like any skill, get better with use. Yes, you’ll feel awkward. Yes, your voice might shake. But you’ll live. And you’ll get stronger.
Final Thought
Social anxiety wants you to believe you’re not good enough. That you don’t belong. That everyone’s watching and judging. But here’s the truth: you do belong. You’re not broken. And you’re definitely not alone.
