Instatherapy

27/07/2022

01/08/2021

01/08/2021

Hi everyone,
If You Aren't Living Your Dreams, Then You Are Living Your fears:

However you are CHOOSING to live I hope you are all enjoying the sunshine!

I thought I would pop in and try to answer a question I'm often asked by my clients.
It seems to me that this question is being asked more and more and people are blaming themselves for the hardships they have faced or are facing right now, in their lives.

The question: "Why do others always seem to get what they want, life just seems so easy for them and I have to struggle for everything I get? It's always been this way, what is it about me?"

The answer is as simple or as complex as YOU would like it to be.

The fear of changing what you already have can be so overwhelming you pull your past into your present without even being aware you are doing it.
The good news: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

It's how you have been conditioned to be, programmed if you like.

So the way I see it; of course you can change what is your present reality right now, but you cannot change the past.
that's simple right?
If you keep focusing on the past then you cannot change the present and certainly will not change the future. Again, simple!

Your belief that it is you that has somehow caused your past will perpetuate your belief that your future will play out the same way. Why? Because you are in it! You have witnessed it play out in your life over and over so you limit your expectations of change to "why would it be any different?"

It sounds simple because when you look at it, it is simple.
If you focus on what has already happened, by default it is still happening, YOU are making it happen, you are giving it life and you are stopping any good changes from taking place.
By giving it life you are stopping the 'good' being active in your present because you are feeding what you believe to be your 'normal', YOUR deserved existence.
Your fear of stepping into a reality where you are worth more than you have been led to believe you are can be so overwhelming it's easier to continue telling yourself you are just 'one of those people, Sh*t always happens to me'

It may seem harsh to say and to hear, but so are the negative words you have repeated over and over to yourself as you have been beating yourself up for years. The difference is those words have become normalised over the years so you don't see them as a defence of your limiting belief you see them as comfort and accept them as a way of life.

What would you rather say to yourself? "Sh*t always happens to me because I am one of those people, life has never been kind to me, I'm really unlucky" OR "I used to be one of those people... my life is mine and mine alone. I get to make my choices and good things always happen to me, I'm as lucky as the next person and what they have I can have. Things are always working in my favour, every challenge I have met and conquered so far has created the amazing person I am now and I will always meet and conquer any challenge life offers me because I am capable and worthy of the challenge. I am an expert on me and I have a lot to give. I have proved myself over and over."
Time to choose, which would you prefer to say to yourself every day?

Practice being kind to yourself, each time you feel that familiar pull to the same negative thinking patterns of how you cannot have good things in your life, how your life will never change, how everyones life seems so much easier than yours and how unfair that is, repeat how you "used to be one of those people"
Write it down, put it on post it notes where you can see it, put it in your diary, your bag, your wallet, take it with you everywhere, keep repeating it. Read it every day as many times as you remember too. Get in to the new habit of being kind to YOU.
Your focus on what has happened is creating what is happening. Change your focus.
Change your mind.
Change your life.
It's really up to you.

There's so many tools, techniques and strategies: Use the 66 No Formula, The 54321, The 'Its just a thought' technique.
The present and the future belongs to you, it's yours to do what you want with.
Live your dreams not your fears!

24/06/2021

So this tech stuff is seriously creative stuff!
It's all starting to come together and no longer the demon I created!
Isn't it amazing what our brains do to us when we allow it to happen.
Now that's not to say I have it all mastered, but I'm certainly closer to the finish line than the starting gate, and getting there I've been implementing the 66 NO Formula like I have never implemented it before. It's helped enormously and kept me on track. There are plenty of tools and strategies to combat those negative thinking feedback loops, limiting beliefs and overwhelm and moving away from the 9-5 into the world of an online business can be scary so they come in very handy indeed.
So It's good to be able to report some good news. I'm no longer fighting my way through the tech terror, I'm actually enjoying it!!
Don't ever let your limiting beliefs keep you stuck, your LIZARD BRAIN loves those limiting beliefs, it is literally wired to seek out the negative to keep you safe, but safe means stuck!
It's time to teach that brain of yours who's really boss.
YAY to me and everyone else who "hates" tech.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, it's not the 👹 you think it is!!
Keep moving, keep smiling, keep telling that Lizard Brain brain NO!
I'll keep you updated with the next exciting instalment so keep a look out.
Stay safe

27/04/2021

Would you rather control yourself or control others?

06/02/2021

Hi, sorry it’s been a while, I’ve been busy putting my Reclaim Your Happy Course together and that seems to have sucked all of my time in to a vacuum!
But my laptop blowing three days ago has given me some respite and has now allowed me time to get back to other things I’ve neglected.
Silver linings eh!
I hope you find the 5.4.3.2.1. Tool useful and share it with all your FB friends. It’s a great grounding tool for all situations and the Free Self Care Guide available is also great so share away please!! You never know who might need it and is not letting on.
Much love

Sharon x

54321 =when you feel overwhelmed and need to ground yourself, bring yourself back to the present, look around. Wherever you are you will find things to name. Start at 5 things then 4 etc
Rinse and repeat until your fight flight freeze response has been turned off.
The emotional message you sent your brain started the process and you have just shut it down by using that simple tool.
Feel the power in that control. Give yourself a reward for managing that situation and taking control back!

Please Share this with your FB friends and family you never know who could be struggling inside and not showing it on the outside

Stay safe x

05/01/2021

Claim your FREE Daily Self Care Practice Guide today!

https://forms.gle/M9f3Pm6KFir8iuq96

Hey You,

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I’m sure the news of the next lockdown has come as sad news, and we all need to take care of ourselves now more than ever.

With that in mind, can I ask you a quick favour? I am in the process of creating a Positive Mental Health online course, and knowing the top 3-5 challenges you face will help me to help you the best that I can! Could you please answer my short survey and give me your honest advice and feedback? You will receive your FREE Daily Self Care Practice Guide as soon as you finish your survey.

https://forms.gle/M9f3Pm6KFir8iuq96

I have worked as a fully qualified Mental Health Therapist at the heart of Liverpool on Rodney Street, as well as my own independent practice in Southport, with qualifications from several governing bodies including the IAHT and IANLPC.

With all my fingers and toes crossed you should receive your free gift automatically by email (check the junk folder, it’s not junk but finds its way there anyway!), but if you have any issues just get in touch with me - I’m great with people but awful with tech!

Much love,
Sharon

31/12/2020

Hello you!
As we approach 2021 we are leaving 2020 behind and for so many of us it has been a sad and distressing time.

For so many of us it has been a time of reflection and for so many it has been a time of prosperity.

It has been a mixed and confusing bag leaving us all in a state of questioning disbelief.

One thing is for sure we have all learned something about ourselves whether big or small, and if we can spend some time figuring out what that something is then maybe we will be better for it.

So with that in mind, instead of making huge new year resolutions maybe just figuring out that one thing should be our goal and putting in to practice what we have learned should be our main aim.

It could be that we have realised we give too much or not enough, we spend too much or not enough, we fight too much or we remain quiet too long.

Whatever it is maybe that is what we can focus on.
Become better for that and learn to change, to grow and to serve not just those around us but ourselves because you cannot pour from an empty cup as my Nan used to say.

Happy New year to you!

Sharon x

26/12/2020

So that was Christmas Day, Done.
It was something different for everyone because we are all different and so are our experiences.
It’s happened, the day has come and gone.
Like any event it has had its impact and that impact will last as long as our thoughts allow it to.
If you feel you need some help figuring out how to get through the days to come and to get an insight in to your thoughts just click here: https://1drv.ms/b/s!An1GjpItVprlhUuImDB9yWTdvPO1?e=epW30i
to access a daily Self Care Practice.
You don’t have to go it alone. Remember the day has come and gone and you are now another day ahead!
Here’s to the day ahead and your journey to Reclaiming Your Happy! X

21/12/2020

Merry Christmas to you.

It’s that time of year again and what a year it has been!
For some, a time for reflection, for some a time of overwhelming distress. For all a time of change.

We all have our own crosses to bear in one way or another and we bear them the best way we know how, using the tools and strategies we have used our entire lives. The good and the not so good. The tools that have kept us ‘safe’ so far generally turn out be the ‘not so good’ as they are the habitual ones that have kept us shackled to our negative thoughts and feelings.

If you have visited my page before you will know there are lots of tools and strategies there to help as you achieve what you need to do in your world.

Here’s another: GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD!
Write it down, paint it, scribble it, do whatever it takes to remove it from your head and put it on another surface. Colours are great for this.

Using colours to identify emotions is an amazing way to get to the route of them and separate them.
Did you know that yellow is the universal colour for happy? What if you identified Happy as green or blue or purple? Would that make you different? Is that a bad thing?
Not in my world. Different is amazing!

We are all individual beings. We all process our emotions differently and we all have the capacity to overcome what is troubling us.
We just need the right tools. The right thinking. The right support and that support comes from within, we have it all just ready and waiting to be utilised.

Did you know over One Hundred Billion US Dollars has been spent trying to replicate your brain?
Your brain is such an amazing piece of equipment and you’re in charge of it. Yes you, You are in control of it. Not the other way around. Imagine that!
In fact, imagine whatever you want. Because the more you put in to imagining what you want, see yourself living it, it will give you the greater chance of achieving it.

Your world literally is in your hands? The present and the future is up to you, so go ahead, unwrap the pens, pencils, paints and canvases and give yourself the space and time it takes to get the old habitual negative thoughts and limiting beliefs out, and the new ‘I can do this’ self fulfilling prophecy in!!

You more than deserve this.

Merry Christmas to you

Sharon ❤️

Designed by iuriimotov / F

09/12/2020

Thanks for liking the post everyone. There’s more hints, tips and strategies coming!

So Hi Everyone,
Thank you for checking in this week.

I have something that may be useful to you if you are, or have been looking for someone or something to make you Happy.

Our Happy is within ourselves. No one can create our Happy for us.
External sources are temporary and that void will remain a void for as long as we ignore its origin.
When we fully commit to learning about ourselves we are on our way to being able to fill that void for ourselves.

I believe learning about our Attachment Styles is fundamental to understanding why we do what we do, and changing what we do so we can begin to live in a more secure world that works for us, and of course those around us.

Our Attachment Styles have us defending our beliefs and actions and create conflict when we are challenged.
We see things from a biased perspective meaning our way is correct whatever it is, and that can make our worlds from an outsiders perspective, very difficult.
Some may see us as too soft, too stern, too cut off or too intrusive and so on.

Our relationships in every area of our lives are affected. They become demand oriented. We become all about us, in the wrong way.
We don't interact from a secure base where we accept that we are not responsible for the Happy of others and Visa-Versa.
We expect others to make and keep us happy and we are sorely disappointed when they don't live up to our expectations.
We reject those around us and create confusion and hurt.
Our worlds become filled with what we have learned, not what we genuinely know to be true.
We are programmed to ignore what we know could be outside of our comfort zone but very helpful, and stick to the familiar that we know will lead to the same destruction it always leads to.
But the old way is how we garnered affection, love and how we felt accepted in the past. Why change it now? It's worked up until now Right!
Wrong, it has not kept us safe it has held us hostage.
Its subconscious. It dictates how we see our individual worlds and in turn how we expect others to behave in order to keep our worlds intact.
Just because it hasn't destroyed us totally doesn't mean it's not doing it in increments. It's doing it slowly and quietly, getting in to each and every part of our worlds dictating how we view and interact in each situation. It holds us back instead of propelling us forward.
There's a lot going on without our conscious knowledge and getting to know our attachment style is the fist steps in getting that secure base built where the genuine authentic us can listen more closely and take control of those feelings and act more appropriately.

The good news is these behaviours are just survival strategies we have learned. They can be unlearned. They are not hard wired. Good news right! With the right tools you get to climb that stairway and grab that rainbow and Get Your Happy back! It's there for the taking.

Well it takes work, it doesn't happen by accident, but don't despair its not that difficult.
Lots of practice and your world will begin to change and those around you will be absolutely blown away by those changes!

Imagine a world where your inner voice is not one filled with blame, shame and negativity, but one filled with acceptance and promise.
That's what happens when you get to understand your genuine authentic self and that starts when you begin to figure out what your attachment style is.
That rainbow gets closer and closer, that stairway becomes easier to climb and that genuine authentic you becomes more and more secure. More and more able to identify what is right and wrong and in turn creates a world that is safe and secure!
It's all within your grasp.

Keep checking in because soon I will be releasing a short piece on attachment styles and how you can figure yours out the easy way! And of course once you have started the process you will be well on your way to Reclaiming Your Happy!

as usual if you want to contact me just send an email to sharon@instatherapy.co

See You Soon

Stay Safe everyone

Bye For now

Sharon X