Ex Jehovah's Witness Counselling and Recovery

18/03/2026

In this excellent video, a recent talk given by JW Governing Body member, Mark Sanderson, in Chile, is examined.

It exposes deception, manipulation of the truth, distortion of facts and outright lies.

It is a well thought out, calm, reasoned and well researched presentation of the despicable way that Jehovah's Witnesses around the world are deceived and misled in regard to what is happening in Norway.

Not only that, it exposes how these tactics are routinely used by the Governing Body to create a narrative that will ensure the rank and file members stay loyal, even if it bears no resemblance to actual reality.

Please watch and share.

https://youtu.be/_BK9m6XheRg?si=QH26clC4Rn14kR0w

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05/03/2026

Being a Jehovah's Witness involves committing yourself to uphold a very clear and important set of rules for living a life that Jehovah will approve of.

In addition to this, it is understood that a failure to meet these standards will result in consequences. Moreover, these are not trivial consequences. In fact, it usually boils down to a 'life and death' situation.

If you displease Jehovah, you die. If he approves of you then you could live (still no guarantee but at least your chances are improved).

But the sorts of behaviours that could attract these consequences are not necessarily huge things.

A woman turning up to a meeting wearing long trousers instead of a modest dress. A man attending the Hall with just the hint of a beard.

Either of these examples are likely to attract attention from the Elders.

A person could easily find themselves being spoken to in a way that makes them feel embarrassed or ashamed. This treatment could cause a person, very quickly, to start considering what Jehovah feels about them and now we are in the realms of the potential for a catastrophic outcome.

Think about the emotional and psychological trauma this is likely to cause for the person, who simply didn't meet the exacting standards on that occasion.

You cannot expect tolerance or understanding. You can expect judgement or belittling.

This makes me wonder what it must be like for a person to have experienced that as a Jehovah's Witness, and then find out that the rules have changed and it now doesn't matter if you wear trousers or have a beard?

I also wonder whether there will be any sort of acknowledgement of the effect it had on people in the past and an apology for causing them unnecessary harm.

29/09/2025

So, the Jehovah's Witness organisation collects donations from it's members.
It then uses those donations to purchase land where a new Kingdom Hall can be built.
It uses more of that donated money to purchase the materials required for building the new Hall.
It then enlists its members to provide free labour to transform the materials in to a shiny new Kingdom Hall.
Then, when it's all complete, the organisation owns the finished product and any profits that may come when it is ultimately sold.

What do you think?
Genius plan or exploitation of good people.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

27/08/2025

There is no doubt that being a Jehovah's Witness can bring some very positive things to a person's life.
Community, support and a sense of belonging, for example.

However, those important elements that contribute to a person's overall sense of well being can be gained from any number of sources.

I, myself, played in a sports team and felt a sense of support, belonging and camaraderie from my team mates.

Many other religious groups can help a person feel loved and like they belong so JW's are not unique in that respect.

We also do not need Jehovah to tell us the difference between right and wrong and, as decent human beings, I believe we already have a fundamental inbuilt instinct to do the right thing and treat others with kindness and respect.

Jehovah's Witnesses do not have the monopoly on kind, respectful people.

However, there are some parts of the Jehovah's Witness organisation that do make them unique.

They baptise children and then threaten them with shunning and death at Armageddon if they leave.

If a member agrees to life saving blood transfusions there is the threat of removal, and shunning if they are not considered repentant enough (For saving their own life??).

You do not need to be a Jehovah's Witness to be a happy person.
You do not need to attend two meetings a week to be a good person.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

20/03/2025

Anyone who is, or has ever been, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses knows—beyond any doubt—that the practice of shunning is very real.

Members are expected to sever ties with disfellowshipped individuals—now referred to as being “removed”—as well as with anyone who no longer identifies as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

This expectation is not ambiguous. It is explicit, unequivocal, and carries clear consequences for those who refuse to comply.

Everyone within the organization understands this reality.

Setting aside the inhumanity of such a practice, one must ask: how can the Governing Body publicly deny its existence?

Imagine, for a moment, the mental and emotional dissonance experienced by a Jehovah’s Witness who is praised for being “spiritually strong” for cutting off a son, daughter, sibling, parent, or lifelong friend—while simultaneously hearing their leaders assure courts and the wider world: “We do not promote shunning or divide families,” and “Anyone is free to leave, and family relationships will remain unaffected.”

This is not only dishonest—it is morally reprehensible.

Such conduct is shameful.
And to those who perpetuate it:

Shame on you!

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

21/11/2024

With Jehovah's Witnesses it is required that you avoid a situations where a single man and woman may be alone together.

Apparently, it is not possible for an innocent friendship to develop. Fornication between these two unmarried witnesses is seemingly inevitable, which will displease Jehovah greatly.

This way of painting the situation is likely to have a long lasting impact on how a woman feels when in the company of other men, especially if there is nobody else present.

Even though here is nothing wrong with having a reasonable level of caution when around strangers, the fear of what may happen in these situations can, for some ex JW's, lead to crippling anxiety and a total withdrawal from any social interaction.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

04/11/2024

Judgement is a way of life when living as a Jehovah's Witness.
The bible is full of stories about how Jehovah reacted when he judged that things had not gone the way he would have wanted.
You are also told that Jehovah will be judging you in the same way, with similar consequences for non compliance.

Elders will make announcements from the platform in the form of 'local needs' that will highlight a particular behaviour that is judged to be unacceptable, along with the inevitable judgement from the congregation towards the person understood to have engaged in the questionable activity.

Judgement of you in your own home takes place, disguised as a 'shepherding call'.

Then if you see another JW acting in a way that is not becoming of a good Witness, you are expected to be very judgemental and report it so that the judgement can be passed on.

When you are exposed to this level of judgement in your life, the mindset of judging others becomes the norm. So it makes perfect sense that you are likely to be very judgemental of your self and your apparent failings.

This harsh inner voice is likely to follow you, even if you leave the organisation.

It is vital that you understand where that inner critic originated from and take steps to challenge it. You were not born with it. It has been inserted into your personality without your permission, and you have the power to remove it.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

22/10/2024

Acknowledging your anger is fundamental in setting effective boundaries.

If you learn to supress your anger, you will also learn to see what others are doing as 'acceptable'.

However, sometimes people will treat you in a way that is not 'acceptable' and your anger in those moments will not simply go away. So as more time passes and you reflect back on the situation, you are likely to turn that anger on yourself, rather than placing it at the feet of those that deserve it.

Acknowledging and expressing your anger is a healthy way of ensuring that you remain psychologically, and in some instances physically, safe.

Showing of anger does not automatically involve shouting or even raised voices. But simply saying, very calmly, 'I am not prepared to accept that..' is an expression of anger. If the anger is not acknowledged in those moments you are likely to start turning it on yourself in the form of negative self talk or self hatred.

It is vital to acknowledge your anger when it arises. It will always be there for a reason.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

11/10/2024

As children, there are generally times we are able to express our opinions about things and get feedback. We, learn that people have differing views on things, but that's ok. We can still make up our own mind about how we feel and what it all means to us. We express those differences of opinions and perhaps even debate others on certain subjects but still with the result that we all see each other in a positive light and we can get along, despite our differences.

However, for Jehovah's Witnesses this is not necessarily the case.

You are told how to think about certain things. Worldly people are bad, Satan is controlling them, only we have the one true religion and only we will be saved. Sinners are to be shunned.

There is no opportunity to develop the skill of evaluating things for yourself and coming to your own conclusions which you are then free to act on without fear of repercussions.

If you have had a lifetime of never making your own decisions, how can you have confidence in your ability to have sound judgement and do the right thing? Especially if there are no rules to tell you what the right thing actually is!

Sometimes there is no clear 'right' or 'wrong' but that is hard to accept when everything in your life previously was so black and white.

Coping with life after a JW experience is incredibly difficult but you all have the ability to thrive.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

08/10/2024

There is nothing inherently wrong with treating a person with respect, but the respect needs to be earned, and just because somebody has a particular title, that doesn't mean that respect should be automatic.

Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, the only authority that mattered was Jehovah. Then, by extension, that respect was extended to those doing his work so the governing body, circuit overseers and congregation elders.

The insistence that these people were somehow 'special' or 'superior' in some way, was reinforced constantly and so their status took on an almost 'mystical' quality.

There was a demand that you had only respect and obedience for them, even though there was not necessarily any tangible reason why.

Elders will enter JW members' homes in order to 'counsel' them on how to live a more spiritual life and their words are granted enormous weight. There is a belief instilled in members, especially female members, that these people know better than you and should be obeyed.

Because you never had the opportunity to decide who you respected, you did not learn the skill of evaluating the actions of peers and more senior members of your social group or society in general and then making up your own mind what level of respect they had earned from you.

It would be more likely that the habit of simple obedience would be continued, which leaves a person vulnerable to exploitation.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

01/10/2024

You're told that all non Witnesses, or 'wordly' people, are dangerous and to be avoided. The only contact permitted is if you are trying to convert them to become a Jehovah's Witness.

You learn your script on how to raise the subject and you have your rehearsed responses for those that speak to you. In the hall you watch or take part in role plays that demonstrate how to convince someone, on their doorstep, to agree to a bible study.

The problem is that because all of these interactions are so scripted and rehearsed you're not learning things like genuinely listening to the views of others and respecting differences of opinion. You're not learning about the hopes and fears of others than can later facilitate great closeness and friendships.

In fact, some of the JW 'training' is more geared towards how to exploit those concerns about the world and how they feel.

When these communication skills are not developed early in life, the world outside of the organisation can sometimes feel overwhelming and too difficult to navigate. Please try to remember that the reason you are struggling is not YOU. It's the doctrine you were forced to agree with.
Change is absolutely possible.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk

27/09/2024

The importance of being a 'good JW' is instilled from an early age.
The parameters as to what constitutes a 'good' Witness is also laid out for you.
It is presented in such a way it seems as if that level of 'perfection' is achievable, when in reality, it isn't. Which means that you will, at some point, fall short of what is required.

Even if this failing is not specifically pointed out to you by a family member or Elder, you are still likely to berate yourself, highlighting what a bad person you have been.

Then when you remember that the rules are very clearly laid out and you still could not follow them precisely, you start to feel ashamed of yourself and your poor actions. You are also likely to feel guilty for letting everyone down.

It is very common to then carry that mindset forward, even after leaving the Organisation. You can still retain a belief that you will be judged terribly if your performance is anything less than excellent, maintaining that narrow world of guilt and shame.

It is an important step on a person's recovery to realise that perfection, or even a striving for perfection, is not required in order to be accepted by others.

www.exjwcounselling.co.uk