10 Moons and Beyond

21/02/2024

Yes, this is where our demons hide. Maternal guilt at its best.

These feelings are normal and it’s important to talk about them with other mothers so you can see that you are not alone.

The top tip I have learnt it’s prioritising SELF-CARE at last. This word might trigger you as it triggered me once. Now I know it’s not possible to do it in any other way, because if you don’t prioritise yourself sometimes, one day you will explode, and that explosion will also affect the ones you love the most.

Find your medicine, the vehicle that can help you connect with your true self. Dr. Oscar Serrallach talks about different actions we can do:

1️⃣ tiny frequent things that last under 60 seconds: like having a deep breath or giving a sip to your tea

2️⃣ small daily things: like doing some exercise, reading a few pages of a book, having a bath, or having a short walk

3️⃣ big things to be done once a week: maybe a yoga class or a meet up with friends that last a few hours

4️⃣ a 3-5 things that you do once in a while: a trip with friends, your partner or alone, for example.

One of my medicines was finding my natural skincare routine, that not only made me feel more confident and healthy but also helped me to prioritise 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening JUST FOR MYSELF (if you wanna know more about this awesome routine I have a discount for you!).

And you, how do you finish the sentence “I can love my children and still...”? We won’t judge you. Tell us below!

30/01/2024

These first two quotes about the holocaust stay with me since the first time I heard them ⬅️

I went to Auschwitz-Birkenau a long time ago and I remember how heartbreaking the visit was. There was so much silence. There was so much to see, to picture. I remember how cold everything looked even if it was summer. The immensity of the camp. The barracks, the train track, the mismatched shoes. The sign of "Arbeit macht frei" (work sets you free). And the feeling of emptiness when I left.

The year after I went to the killing fields in Phnom Penh and the feelings were similar. Disturbing. Heartbreaking. Very emotional. I remember we rented those headphones to do the audioguide and my friends and I separated from each other to do the walk on our own, listen to the stories, think about what happened, remember things that we didn't live. I remember the peaceful lake in the middle of it, the grass around it and all the memorial colourful ribbons. The third quote is from Dith Pran in the movie "The Killing Fields" and it says it all ⬅️⬅️

Both places are synonymous of starvation, murder, extermination, torture, abuse, pain and loss. And do you know another place who has become synonymous of this too? Gaza.

Ceasefire now. We MUST keep on talking about what is going on. We are not there to see it but we have seen it through the eyes of Bisan, Wael, Motaz and many more.

We all will remember, and for the dead and the living, we will bear witness. 🙏

PS: To those who think I shouldn't be posting this on my social media when it's a business account. It's an account about life, about mothers, about children, about fathers, and we are losing all of them there. I would neglect myself if I didn’t talk about this.

08/12/2023

06/11/2023

Fear is a natural and necessary response that the body has when we are in danger. If we see a lion, we feel fear; our thinking brain shuts down, and the body responds by running away, fighting, freezing, or trying to please the lion.

However, fear can also be created by ourselves, and this our definition of F.E.A.R. (swipe ⬅️⬅️ to see my new at last!). These fears have nothing to do with a life-threatening situation. Our minds simply create these narratives about how a situation can turn out wrong. This is the so-called catastrophizing, a very self-damaging way of visualizing.

These are some examples of fears:

😱Being rejected
😱 Failing
😱 Dying
😱 Being alone
😱 Getting lost
😱 Losing someone
😱 Losing control
😱 Not having enough money or resources
😱 Being judged
😱Being a bad mother

It’s a fear of the future, of something that hasn’t happened and that we don’t even know if it’s going to happen but we feel it as if it was real, and our body responds to it by feeling anxious, accelerated, blocked, and worried, as if those events had already happened. These fears only make you hold on to the known and familiar and prevent you from leaving your comfort zone.

Your fear is there to GUIDE you and set you FREE. A way of learning more about it is by asking yourself these questions:

- How are you feeling right now?
- What are you afraid of?H
- How does this make you feel-?
- wheheeese feelings coming fro
- How would you feel if these feelings were not here
- What can help you to remove these feelings?

And BREATHE.

It's normal to face moments of uncertainty, doubt, and anxiety when we become parents but remember, these feelings are often just illusions. Every decision we make during pregnancy, birth, motherhood, every step forward to support our little ones, is a testament to our courage and resilience.

When there's fear, DO IT AFRAID.

Fear should not prevent you from moving forward.

Embrace the unknown with open arms because it's where growth and transformation happen.

Let's change that FEAR for FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE!

12/10/2023

***INSTAGRAM LIVE ALERT!***

I only discovered Áine a couple of months ago, and I'm already obsessed with the idea. It's a new women's health clinic in Dublin, but they call themselves "family nest," and I love that term! I can't wait to talk tomorrow to Mer, one of the two founders (together with Carol) who will explain to us where the idea came from, what services they provide, and any questions you might be interested in knowing the answer to!

Tomorrow is the official opening, so if you are in Dublin, add this to your Friday plan! 30 Fitzwilliam St. from 7pm to 9pm. I cannot make it but cannot wait to hear the feedback!

Do you join us for the morning live?

06/10/2023

***AT LAST***

We have been waiting for this for a long time. A book made by birthworkers for anyone pregnant, postpartum, birthworkers or anyone interested in the birth world. THIS is the only book that is gonna help you to navigate the maternity system in Ireland, from thinking of getting pregnant until way beyond having your baby earthside.

This book is extremely NECESSARY because it's gonna help you have a better experience without any doubt. You will feel informed, supported and listened and this will give you the power you need to make your own decisions. Your birth, always your choice.

I already have mine, and you??

Can you help us to make this project happen??

Thanks Su and Leigh for all your incessant work and to all the authors. And to the Irish Birth Movement for keeping us here.

Can't wait to have you on my hands!!

05/10/2023

You already know that for the past few months, I've been collaborating with a brand of natural cosmetics and supplements that I fell in love with last year. At first, I thought I would take it slow, continue enjoying the products, and learn about the business mindset, especially since I already knew some mentors in my team who have an incredible reputation as entrepreneurs and health coaches. However, it was impossible to stop there. Ringana and my team have helped improve my life and my family's on so many levels that I wouldn't even know where to begin:

- I'm learning to prioritize self-care
- I've gained confidence
- I know myself better
- I have crossed many comfort zones
- I'm more organised (ok, I still have to improve this one A LOT)
- I feel more beautiful
- I trust people and life more
- I'm more positive
- I feel more motivated
- I'm overcoming many limiting beliefs
- I care less and less about what people think of me (ok, this might be my age too 🤣 )
- I've met incredible INCREDIBLE people and I enjoy the time I spend with them
- I'm more focused on achieving my goals and the future I have envisioned for my family
- I learn something new every day, about me, about others and about the world
- I'm "well-aging"
- I feel healthier
- I'm reducing my environmental impact
- There are less toxins in my house (and ZERO in my bathrooms!)
- I'm living more consciously
- I'm helping more people
- I'm earning more money
- and I AM A BETTER DOULA!!!

And I want to share this gift with you. On Saturday, the 14th of October my super mentor is coming to Ireland to visit me, and together, we're organizing an event for you to experience the facial routine and discover why This One is so special. Join us for an incredible session of soul-care and business! I'm sure something will resonate with you or someone you know and the minimum I can promise you is 2 hours where you will do something different and you will be feeling good. Yes, it’s a promise.

If this sounds good to you, I would love to see YOU there! 😘

18/09/2023

*** BIRTH POSITIONS***

We already talked about KICO a few weeks ago and this is very related to that.

Adopting an UPRIGHT, LEANING FORWARD and OPEN position is a game changer during labour because it eases pressure on the back, allows gravity to do its work and opens up the pelvis which makes more room for the baby to be born. Another benefit is that the labour and pushing stage is considerably shorter and there’s less risk of tearing/episiotomy.

Lithotomy position during birth (when you're on your back, legs up in stirrups) is not ideal and it was not “created” for your baby’s or your comfort but obstetrician’s comfort. The fact is that narrows your pelvis and makes labour tougher. However, if you are having an epidural it might be more difficult to move because you usually need continuous monitoring (the belt wrapping your belly) and you cannot feel the legs. There are different ways to help your body adopt a better position though:

- using a peanut ball to help the passive descent of the baby through the birth canal
- Moving the back of the bed up and kneeling on it
- adapting the bed to a chair-like position and sit at the feet of the bed while grabbing handles or someone
- kneeling on the bed
- squat if the bed has handles

If you are giving birth in the hospital the most important thing is to ask your health providers to help you with any position you wanna try and use some props like pillows, handles, rebozos, and birthing balls.

I know, listening to your body can be very difficult, but if you find it hard keep in mind that PAIN in many cases is the sign that you are waiting for that tells you to move. Another key moment to change of position is when things are not moving along and your doctors are mentioning “stalled labour” or “failure to progress”. Moving around or changing the position can be the key to making the labour progress quicker and smoother and avoiding unnecessary interventions.

And you, what positions did you used during labour? I read you!

13/09/2023

As you know, apart from being a doula I'm also partner in a brand of nutricosmetics that I'm obsessed with. You also know that I love asking for advice and recommendations from people and that I adore recommending things myself, from restaurants to activities, cities, recipes, trainings, books and movies...so that's exactly what I do: I show you what I like and you try it too!

Tonight I'm getting together with another 4 partners from different spots in Europe to do a workshop to share with you the facial routine with Ringana. I usually do them on my own but we always wanted to organise things together so today is the day. It will be the first time so be kind to us!

Tomorrow, as I often do, I have a workshop in person in Sexton's Bar in Limerick city and I would love you to join me (the capacity is very limited tomorrow though, to 10 people max). I usually do them for groups of friends at homes, cafes or bars, and this is the first time I open it here for people who don't know each other. If tomorrow doesn't suit you, but you would like to come one day or even do it online or somewhere else, let me know and we will set up a date!

My goal is that you discover why skincare is so important, how you can "well-age" and that you know the brand because I promise it's very special and you NEED TO try it. It's the perfect combination between nature and technology and no company invests more money, time or energy on R&D as this one does, while sustainability is the base of their program. You will also discover another ways of taking care of yourself from the inside out. 

I personally enjoy doing also themed sessions. These ones are specifically about the facial routine but my favourite is about products for pregnancy and postpartum! I can also do hair routine, body routine, inflammations, detox...Your need is my command!

If you want to attend tonight's one, let me know so I can give you the zoom link. If you wanna come tomorrow, let me know asap too because I have only a couple of spaces left that had been cancelled. 

I'm here to help you nourish your body and nurture your soul, so let's keep in touch ❤️

07/09/2023

Last night I went to bed at 3:30 after a crazy creative flow that I couldn't control. I woke up this morning with my period (now the creative part makes sense). The day didn't look great. Barry had taken the car to Kerry, Keela woke up in increíble bad mood, had to drop her at preschool that is 30 mins away and be back by 9:30 that Dara needed to be with her new childminder. But I had to collect Keela only a few hours later because she had a planned appointment at 2pm with a PHN that I don't like.

So the day was gonna be tough because:

- I had to run from one place to another and run again and without car
- deal with a PHN that I dislike
- collect earlier a toddler that is not too cooperative today and deal with lots of ice-cream and TV sessions requests that I didn't feel ready for
- work very very little because of lack of time and mind for that
- sweat a lot because it's warm!

So what did I do? PRIORITISE MYSELF!!

I dropped Keela at preschool, dropped Dara at childminder,called the PHN to say I couldn't make it today, had a childless coffee and salted caramel & pecan brownie with 3 awesome mama friends in my favourite spot, came back to work and focused on the skills that my cyclical mind allowed me to enjoy, collected Dara who felt asleep immediately and is still sleeping on me after 3 hours!!! And I used these 3 hours that I have been nap-trapped to contact clients, write stuff, do some online work tasks and surrender to the creative flow that I had last night.
And now I'm ready to get up, collect Keela with a huge smile in my face and enjoy the rest of the evening with my girls.

Yes, you can change your day by:

- looking at what is in front of you
- breathing
- listening to yourself
- prioritising: do the urgent and important things and delegate, eliminate or push the rest back
- owning your decisions and enjoying what you have chosen! This is what makes you FREE!

I know, I cannot say the same everyday but I needed to tell you how I turned my "today" around, because if I can, YOU CAN!!

And you, how's your day going?

02/09/2023

***CHI FLOWING***

13 years ago, I took a leap of faith and attended my first weekend of intensive Chi Kung with Shaolin Wahnam. This is the coffee I had before starting that morning.

My friend Santi had spent months encouraging me to attend a workshop because he knew I would love it. I always made excuses like "it's too expensive" (a big concern for me back then since I couldn't make it to the end of the month after spending my salary on going out and buying drinks for others). Santi always wore a patient smile and would say, "One day, you won't say that, and that will be the day when you'll be ready." And finally, that day arrived. Barry had left Ireland to move to Abu Dhabi a couple of weeks before, I decided to move to a community-style house in Fairview, and I had just been paid, so my first expense was going to be this workshop.

It truly changed my life. So much that, two months later, Natalia, the person who was always broke, was flying to Dubai to attend another intensive workshop with Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit. It was "very expensive" (or not?) but equally worth it because the first thing I understood is that money flows when you are doing what you have to do. It's energy.l, and once you learn that, you can never unlearn it.

I attended many weekends with Sifu Joan in Ireland, and I remember during one exercise, I visualized leaving my job to travel as much as I could. 2 years later, in 2014, I was heading to Thailand to volunteer at a mindfulness school, despite the many comments like "you're crazy, why leave such a good job." The rest is history.

I don't practice Chi Kung right now, as life has taken me to other places, but they are always connected to it. It will always be one of those life-changing decisions you make one day. If you've never tried it, do it with any Shaolin Wahnam healer or trainer around the world. It's incredibly powerful and different and I assure you that you'll feel the Chi.

Today, I feel grateful to Santi, for giving me this gift. To Sifu Joan in Kilgarvan. To Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit for such an amazing school. And very that 30-year-old Natalia who finally tuned into the universe and said yes to a life full of purpose.

14/08/2023

***WHAT'S IMPORTANT NOW?***

I love reading about the tools that high-performance athletes use to reach their targets. This WIN acronym comes from a famous football coach called Lou Holtz. He used to ask his players many times per day the question " What's Important Now?" so they could learn to prioritise and focus on what really mattered at that exact moment to get them closer to their goal and actually win.

WIN is directly related to WTF (if you don't know what WTF means just go back to a few posts before this one).

Rome was not built in a day. We need to take small steps towards what we want to achieve, so it's like asking yourself, what can I do right now that brings me closer to my goal?

WIN helps you to be more mindful.
WIN brings you to the Here and Now.
WIN brings you to to the present moment when you are catastrophizing or thinking about the past and what you could have done.
WIN helps you to pause and notice.
WIN is an awesome tool to help you visualise and make that happen.
WIN helps you to focus on the steps that will take you where you want to be instead of focusing on the outcome.
WIN helps you to make decisions from a place of intention.
WIN helps you to prioritise.
WIN helps you to focus on the controllables.
WIN helps you to focus on short achievable goals that bring you closer to your ultimate one

I know, I kind of said the same in different ways, but maybe you tune better with one of the sentences and not with the others...That's how our mind works!

My tip: put an alarm several times per day, at random times, with the word WIN. Every time you hear the alarm, answer the question "What's important now? ". I think this is a useful and easy way to practice mindfulness.

In the birth scenario, a great moment to use the acronym WIN is when you are in established labour and you think you cannot keep on going because the contractions are strong and intense. Ask your partner to tell you What's Important Now...The answer could be "Focus on one surge at a time".

And now tell me…for you, What's Important Now??

now

01/08/2023

***NARROW THE KNEES TO PUSH WITH EASE***

Many mothers are pretty scared of the pushing stage and that moment of crowning, thinking that they will be hours doing it, or that coached pushing will leave them exhausted or that they will tear. Well, this is an incredible position to use during the pushing and the best of all is that you can use it kneeling, or on your side, and with or without an epidural.

You just have to put the knees together and the heels apart because this will open up the pelvic outlet so the baby will have more room to descend. Seriously, it's a game changer and it can really change your birth experience!

came up with the term and she made it super easy for people to remember. I recommend adding the acronym to a piece of paper as a birth affirmation or asking your birth partner to repeat this acronym to you when you are at that last stage.

Of course, the most important thing is listening to your body and getting onto any position you feel like at that moment, but remembering KICO might keep you covered!

How was crowning for you? Did you do KICO?

26/07/2023

***MINDSET DURING PREGNANCY AND BIRTH***

Our beliefs establish the limits of what we can achieve. Many of them are not even ours but come from our parents or grandparents. They might be things we have been hearing since we were kids or negative experiences that we had that our subconscious mind remembers to prevent us from happening again. 

Birth-wise, we all have been primed with the births that we have seen in TV and other horror stories: a woman screaming on a bed, lying on her back, squeezing the hand of her partner while shouting at him something about not knowing what real pain is because men are all clueless. 

Here there's the example of a friend of mine. Her grandmother passed away during childbirth and her mother nearly died because of a postpartum haemorrhage. My friend got pregnant and...Bear with me and I'll go on! 

What can we do when we have a belief that is limiting us from getting what we want? 

1️⃣IDENTIFY it: that's the first step and the most difficult one because beliefs are very ingrained in the brain
2️⃣CHALLENGE it: Where did you learn this belief? How do your relatives feel about it? What evidence you have that proves that this is real? Can you find evidence of the opposite?
3️⃣REPLACE it with new beliefs that will support you and your goal.

And what about my friend?

- For her, birth was inherently dangerous and she was scared.  
- She knew the horrible experience of her mother and grandmother. It was dangerous for them. But she didn't want to believe this because hundreds of thousands of mothers give birth safely every day. She knew that she needed to release this fear because this experience didn't belong to her but to her lineage.
- She looked for help and she found it. She educated herself, she surrounded herself with other women who were looking for the same thing; an empowering community and positive conversations about birth that lighted up a fire within herself.
- She learned and taught so much! And finally had a physiological birth, free of fear.

But which belief is true? Actually, they all are so now it's up to you which belief you wanna cultivate that allows you to live your life to the fullest. Pick wisely, my friend!

24/07/2023

***INTENTIONAL FOCUS ***

When we think of a situation, our emotions can be totally different depending on where we are putting the focus of our thoughts. Birth-wise, if our emotions change, our birth hormones change too, so being aware of this should be one of our top priorities because what we need at that moment is to be drowned in oxytocin, not a tsunami of adrenaline. In fact, two births could be identical but it's the brain which makes you feel positive about it or not. 

Because of this, it's essential to know where we are putting our attention and change it if it’s not aligned with what we want to achieve. 

Practising intentional focus in every area of your life also gives you a sense of freedom and ownership. It means you are committing TO yourself and that you KNOW that your life is full of purpose. It’s taking action and steps towards your goal. 

Here I give you some exercises to practice intentional focus:

🧠REFRAME situations towards positivity: it can be very difficult especially if your negative bias is always your default mode, but you can practice by writing down whatever experience you have had and rewrite it again focusing on the positives

🧠FOCUS on the best-case scenario: imagine that all the options are on a stage like actors, you are holding the spotlight and you can direct it to any option you see. Light up the actor that brings your more joy or gets you closer to your goal, and that's the only possibility you will ever see.

🧠Practice GRATITUDE: every day write down three things you feel grateful for. It’s also a great exercise to do with your partner and your children, and you can say thank you to them.

🧠Do daily MINDFULNESS: I don't mean to attend a Vipassana meditation retreat just now, but simply fully focus on everyday activities like walking, doing the dishes, or showering. This will help you to train your muscle of attention and to see more easily what’s going right instead of what is going wrong. 

Happiness can be trained; a positive birth, too!

Can you share any example of how you reframed a situation?

17/07/2023

***PAIN DURING LABOUR***

Since we are little we are primed to believe that labour is the most painful thing we can feel and that suffering is unavoidable, but that's absolutely untrue. Here you have my second so you can learn the reality of pain during labour:

- it's PURPOSEFUL: it allows for the baby to be born. It guides you to adopt different positions so the baby can be born safer and quicker. And it also releases stress hormones that help your baby to adjust to the earthside environment.

- it's ANTICIPATED: you know it's gonna happen at the end of the pregnancy so you can get ready for it through lots of amazing tools: hypnobirthing, yoga, breathwork, mindset... Once you are in labour you can also anticipate when the contraction is gonna peak.

- it's INTERMITTENT: your bodies have different oxytocin receptors that release it in pulsatile form, intermittently, giving you little breaks between contractions that is when the endorphins do their amazing job of easing your pain. In fact, you can do your numbers. If during 1 hour you are having contractions every 3 minutes and they last 1 minute each, that means you have 20 mins of surges and 40 of rest!

- it's NORMAL: your uterus contracts; your cervix opens; your pelvic floor, birth canal and skin of the vaginal opening stretch. It's very normal to feel pain as you can see!! But this doesn't mean that there's something wrong, but that your body is doing what it EXACTLY HAS TO DO.

I love what Amy Wright Glenn says in her book Holding Space: "A doula is a constant reminder that pain does not equal suffering". If your fear of feeling pain during labour is occupying a big space in your mind, reach a doula and she will help you to reconnect with your true self, understand pain from another perspective and see pain simply as P.A.I.N.