Sylwia Kuchenna

Sylwia Kuchenna 💙 Psychotherapist✨Trauma Informed Therapist✨Inner Child Expert✨ Author✨Podcaster✨Founder of Horizon💙

25/05/2026

What a therapist notices is often not what is being said, but what happens around the words.

The breath that suddenly stops when a parent is mentioned. The smile that appears while describing something painful. The apology for having feelings. The way someone talks about their life as if they are reading a report instead of telling their own story.

These small moments are rarely random. They can be traces of old adaptations—ways of coping that once helped us survive difficult relationships, emotional neglect, criticism, rejection, or environments where certain feelings were not welcome.

A therapist is listening to your words, but also to your pauses, your body language, your tone of voice, your nervous laughter, and the emotions that seem just out of reach. Not to judge or analyze you, but to understand the story beneath the story.

Healing often begins when we become curious about these patterns instead of automatically repeating them. Because what feels like "just the way I am" is sometimes a protective strategy that no longer serves us.

The goal isn't to become someone else. It's to reconnect with the parts of yourself that had to be hidden, silenced, or protected for a very long time.

14/05/2026

✨ Week 5 – Reflection Questions

This week, we explore something many people carry…
but rarely speak about openly.

Shame.

Not just a feeling—
but a way of seeing yourself.

Take a moment and reflect:

– When do I feel “not enough” or “too much”?
– In what situations do I feel small, exposed, or judged?
– What do I tell myself in those moments?
(e.g. “There’s something wrong with me”)

– Do I hide parts of myself from others? Which parts?
– Do I struggle to receive compliments, care, or attention?

Go deeper:

– What was I made to feel ashamed of growing up?
– How did others respond to my emotions, needs, or expression?
– When did I first feel that who I am is not acceptable?

Notice your patterns:

– Do I people-please to avoid rejection?
– Do I withdraw or shut down when I feel exposed?
– Do I overcompensate through perfectionism or control?

And gently ask yourself:
👉 Am I reacting to reality… or to an old feeling of shame?

Join me on Skool for full 10-week course for Free.
Back to Self- from wounds to wisdom is where you heal and reconnect with your self.

Link in bio. 🤍

10/05/2026

She was the child everyone praised.
Quiet. Responsible. Helpful.
“Such a good girl.”
“Never any trouble.”
“Mature for her age.”

She learned very early that love was something you earned by being easy.
By not needing too much.
By not crying too loudly.
By achieving.
By adapting.
By taking care of everyone else before herself.

So she became hyper-aware of other people’s emotions.
She learned to read the room before speaking.
To apologise for taking up space.
To smile when she was hurting.
To abandon herself just to stay connected.

And the world rewarded her for it.

Good grades.
Praise.
Approval.
Validation.

But nobody noticed the anxiety underneath.
The exhaustion.
The people-pleasing.
The fear of disappointing others.
The shame she carried whenever she chose herself.

Now, as an adult, she sits in therapy trying to unlearn the survival patterns that once kept her safe.

Because being the “good girl” often means:
• suppressing your emotions
• ignoring your needs
• over-functioning for others
• struggling with boundaries
• feeling guilty for resting
• attaching your worth to performance and approval

Healing is not becoming selfish.
Healing is finally learning that your needs matter, too.

In my FREE 10-week course, you will learn:
✨ How trauma shapes the nervous system
✨ Why people-pleasing and perfectionism develop
✨ How chronic shame impacts adult relationships
✨ How to regulate your nervous system safely
✨ How to reconnect with your authentic self and boundaries

You do not have to spend your whole life performing goodness just to deserve love.

Join me on Skool for deeper healing, psychoeducation, and support.
Link in bio.

Your therapist,
Sylwia

05/05/2026

Anxiety is not “just in your head.”
It lives in your nervous system.

If you feel constantly on edge, overwhelmed, or stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break… your body may be carrying unresolved stress and trauma. When the nervous system is dysregulated, even small things can feel like threats. You might overthink, avoid, people-please, or shut down — not because you’re weak, but because your system learned to protect you this way.

In my Anxiety Course, I guide you step by step through understanding your nervous system and how trauma shapes your reactions, emotions, and relationships. You’ll learn how to:
• Recognise your anxiety triggers
• Regulate your nervous system safely
• Break unconscious patterns rooted in trauma
• Feel more grounded, calm, and in control of your life

This is not about “coping better.”
This is about real, lasting change from the inside out.

Healing happens when we stop fighting our anxiety… and start understanding it.

Link in bio to join, or comment “ANXIETY” and I’ll send you the link directly.

Sylwia, your therapist




02/05/2026

Welcome to our class #4 at skool. During this class we talked about defense mechanism:

✔️ how they develop
✔️ how they impact our adulthood
✔️ what to do to change them...

Join me on skool for free to have the access to the classes.

Link in bio

Your therapist,
Sylwia 🤍




01/05/2026

Being in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable doesn’t usually start with distance—it often starts with intensity.

At first, there’s chemistry. Moments of closeness. Just enough connection to make you believe something real is growing.

But over time, a pattern begins to reveal itself.

You reach for depth—they change the subject.
You ask for clarity—they give you mixed signals.
You move closer—they pull away.

And slowly, without even realising it, you start adjusting yourself.

You become more patient. More understanding. Less “needy.”
You silence your needs to keep the connection.
You accept breadcrumbs and call it progress.

But here’s the truth that’s hard to sit with:

You cannot build emotional safety with someone who avoids emotional presence.

Emotional unavailability isn’t always loud or obvious.
It can look like charm, independence, or “just needing space.”
But its impact is quiet and heavy—you feel alone in a relationship that’s supposed to hold you.

And the most painful part?

You may start to question yourself instead of the dynamic.
“Am I asking for too much?”
“Maybe I just need to be more understanding…”

But healthy connection doesn’t require you to shrink.

It allows you to feel seen, heard, and emotionally met.

Real intimacy isn’t inconsistent.
It doesn’t disappear when things get uncomfortable.
It doesn’t make you feel like you have to earn closeness.

If you feel lonely with someone, that feeling is information—not failure.

And sometimes, the most important shift isn’t getting them to open up…

It’s asking yourself why you’re staying closed to your own needs.

Your therapist,
Sylwia 🤍

30/04/2026

It Won’t Change Your Life Overnight… But It Will Change Everything

Therapy rarely gives you a dramatic, movie-like breakthrough where everything suddenly makes sense and your life transforms in an instant.

And that’s exactly why it works.

Because real change doesn’t live in the “big moments.”
It lives in the quiet, ordinary ones.

It’s in the pause before you react… when you choose a different response.
It’s in noticing your thoughts instead of becoming them.
It’s in setting a boundary without over-explaining.
It’s in choosing rest without guilt.
It’s in speaking to yourself with a little more compassion than you did yesterday.

At first, it feels small. Almost invisible.
Like nothing is really happening.

But slowly, something shifts.

You begin to feel safer in your own mind.
Your emotions become less overwhelming.
Your relationships start to feel healthier, clearer, more honest.
You stop abandoning yourself just to keep the peace.

And one day, you look back…

…and realize your entire life has changed.

Not because of one big breakthrough.
But because you showed up, again and again, for the ordinary days.

That’s the real work.
That’s the real transformation.

And that’s what lasts.

✨ If you’re ready to start changing your everyday life from the inside out, the link is in my bio.

23/04/2026

You are not only reacting as an adult…
sometimes, you are reacting as a child.

In this class, we explore the part of you that never left—your inner child.
The part shaped by early experiences, unmet needs, and emotional wounds that still live in your present.

We look at how wounds like rejection, abandonment, betrayal, humiliation, and injustice show up in adulthood through patterns like people-pleasing, perfectionism, fear of closeness, or emotional withdrawal.

We also explore the emotions you may have learned to suppress—like anger, sadness, fear, or neediness—and how this impacts your relationships and sense of self.

đź’› This is not about going back.
It’s about understanding what is still shaping you today.

✨ Join me on Skool for free to go deeper into this work
Link in bio

21/04/2026

POV: Your parent finally tries to show love… but your body doesn’t know how to receive it.

And this is the part no one talks about.

Because on the outside, it might look like “finally, things are better.”
They’re softer. Kinder. Trying.
But inside you? There’s distance. Numbness. Even resistance.

Not because you’re ungrateful.
But because your nervous system remembers what your mind tries to rationalise.

It remembers the silence.
The absence.
The words that cut too deep.
The moments you needed safety… and didn’t get it.

So now, when love finally shows up, it feels unfamiliar.
And unfamiliar doesn’t feel safe.

This is what unhealed wounds do.
They don’t just live in the past — they shape how you experience the present.

You might find yourself: – pulling away when someone gets close
– questioning genuine care
– feeling guilty for not being able to “just move on”
– or completely disconnected from emotions you wish you could feel

Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to feel love.
It’s about gently teaching your body that it’s safe to receive it now.

And that takes time.
Awareness.
And the right kind of support.

If you see yourself in this… you don’t have to figure it out alone.
You can join my classes on Skool for free, where I guide you step by step through understanding your emotional wounds, rebuilding safety within yourself, and learning how to actually feel again — not just think that you should.

This is the work that changes everything.

— Your therapist, Sylwia

There is a kind of love that asks for nothing, expects nothing, and yet gives everything.If you’ve ever been truly seen ...
18/04/2026

There is a kind of love that asks for nothing, expects nothing, and yet gives everything.

If you’ve ever been truly seen by your dog, you know what I mean.
Not judged. Not measured. Not required to be “better,” “stronger,” or “fixed.”
Just accepted—exactly as you are, in that moment.

As a psychotherapist, I often speak about attachment, safety, and emotional regulation. And yet, some of the purest examples of these concepts don’t come from textbooks… they come from the quiet, steady presence of our dogs.

They are our protectors, our companions, our silent witnesses.
They sense our shifts before we speak them.
They stay when others leave.
They soften the edges of pain we sometimes struggle to name.

For many, especially those who have experienced trauma, rejection, or abandonment—this kind of unconditional connection can be deeply reparative. A dog doesn’t try to analyze your wounds… but somehow, they help you carry them.

And still—so many of them carry wounds of their own.
Neglect. Fear. Loss. Displacement.

If we can receive this kind of love, we can also offer it.
Helping, fostering, or rehoming dogs who have experienced trauma is not just an act of kindness—it’s a powerful relational exchange. Healing doesn’t only move in one direction.

When we create safety for them, something in us often finds safety too.

Let’s not forget that these beings—so loyal, so intuitive, so deeply loving—are not just pets.
They are guardians.
They are protectors.
They are, in many ways, quiet healers walking beside us.

Your therapist,
Sylwia
psia.przystan


rychlewski



15/04/2026

9 signs someone may be struggling with traits of Borderline Personality Disorder and may not even realise it

As a psychotherapist working from a psychodynamic and trauma-informed lens, I want to say this first: these are not “labels” to put on yourself or others. These are patterns—often deeply rooted in early attachment wounds and nervous system adaptations.

1. Intense fear of abandonment
Not always obvious, but felt deeply. Small changes—tone, distance, delayed replies—can trigger anxiety, overthinking, or a sense of being “left.”

2. Unstable, all-or-nothing relationships
People can be experienced as “all good” or “all bad,” with rapid shifts between closeness and hurt. Relationships may feel intense and consuming.

3. Rapid emotional shifts
Emotions can change quickly and feel overwhelming—especially in response to relational triggers.

4. Chronic feeling of emptiness
A persistent sense of something missing. Even when life looks “fine,” internally it can feel flat or unfulfilled.

5. Strong emotional reactions that feel hard to regulate
Anger, sadness, or anxiety may feel bigger than the situation—and difficult to soothe.

6. Unstable sense of self
Struggles with identity, direction, or feeling grounded in who you are. This can shift depending on who you’re with.

7. Impulsive or self-sabotaging behaviours
Moments of acting in ways that later feel confusing or regrettable—often as a way to cope with emotional overwhelm.

8. Your mood depends on how others feel about you
When someone is warm, you feel okay. When they withdraw, everything inside shifts—anxiety, shame, or panic can arise.
From a psychodynamic perspective, this often reflects early environments where emotional safety depended on attunement to others.

9. You absorb other people’s emotional states
You don’t just notice others’ moods—you feel them in your body. You may feel responsible for fixing, calming, or restoring emotional balance.
From a trauma-informed and psychoanalytic lens, this can relate to blurred emotional boundaries and early relational survival strategies.

These patterns are not flaws. They are adaptations.

Your therapist,
Sylwia 🤍

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+353873426977

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