Allegory Counselling

Allegory Counselling Accessible Individual and Couple Therapy in Singapore. In person or online.

Family secrets: a lot of families have them and a lot of people suffer because of them. There are many reasons why peopl...
08/12/2022

Family secrets: a lot of families have them and a lot of people suffer because of them.
There are many reasons why people keep family secrets: sometimes a secret is withheld from other members of the family out of fear of the consequences, other times it is withheld to protect certain family members, in other instances a secret is buried out of shame. The reason why family secrets exist doesn't matter, we know that they are toxic for the family and can cause a lot of hurt, difficulties in communication and emotion expression.

If your family has a secret, ask yourself what impact it has on you and on other members of the family. Is it worth it?

Today's reflection brings another powerful, yet easy to understand, metaphor! Drop-the-rope ➡️ drop the struggle: the pr...
23/11/2022

Today's reflection brings another powerful, yet easy to understand, metaphor!

Drop-the-rope ➡️ drop the struggle: the problem will still be there but, if you can stop fighting and being absorbed by it, you'll be free to notice and attend to all the other things happening in your life.

Sharing so everyone can benefit!Thanks to those of you who responded to the survey, I'll keep collecting answers and wil...
23/11/2022

Sharing so everyone can benefit!
Thanks to those of you who responded to the survey, I'll keep collecting answers and will share them along the way!

Those of you who have already worked with me, know how much I like value work. Values give us purpose, they help us defi...
17/11/2022

Those of you who have already worked with me, know how much I like value work. Values give us purpose, they help us define in which direction we want our lives to go. They are our deepest desires for how we want to behave as human beings.

There are many ways to identify our values, one of my preferred one is exploring the idea that our values hide inside our pain. When something causes us sorrow, the question we can ask ourselves is: "what would I have to NOT care about, for this not to hurt?". The answer to this question is the value we care about. Pain and value are like two sides of the same coin. As Steven Hayes said: "we hurt where we care and we care where we hurt".

The pain will not disappear, but it will now serve as a reminder of what we care about and which direction we want our life to take.

Value work goes together with many other aspects of therapy and self-discovery. Contact us to find out how we can help you.

Today's inspiration comes from this beautiful illustration by Often, I have this conversation with clients: they want to...
15/11/2022

Today's inspiration comes from this beautiful illustration by

Often, I have this conversation with clients: they want to feel better and they think the solution is for their pain to go away. They ignore it, fight it, they get distracted from it...but it never really leaves them. So they come to therapy and ask me to help them get rid of the pain.

Guess what my answer is?

It is in the pain itself that we may find the key. If we treat our sorrow like a burden to offload, it will bend us and even break us. But if we are willing to accept it and be curious about it, a universe of possibilities can open up to us.

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Queenstown Estate
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