21/11/2022
21st November 2022
Happy 71st birthday, Mother!
If she had been around, this would have been another delayed surprise birthday party that we had for her.
Going back in time about 11 years ago when she was turning 60. My sisters and I asked if she wanted to celebrate as 60th birthdays are supposed to be significant. We asked so many times, but her only answer was "No!". Amma is one who is quite strict and pretty straightforward. So, in order not to make her angry, we didn't do anything for her on her 60th. I don't quite remember what we did, but we kept it simple as per her request.
I'm at work the day after her birthday, and I get a call from Amma. She starts speaking and says, "en friends ellam eppadi celebrate pannaae-nu kaetaangae" [all my friends asked me how I celebrated my birthday], and she starts crying on the phone. She goes on to ask how come we didn't do anything for her birthday. I tried explaining that we didn't do anything because she didn't want anything when we asked.
She was upset that we didn't celebrate her 60th birthday. My reaction 😱😲😨.
I called my sisters and told them about it. There was no way we could redeem ourselves. It was too late. And therefore we planned for a bigger surprise.
We waited for one whole year to surprise her. On her 61st birthday, we told her that there was a Deepavali celebration at my sister's workplace. How I left the house before she did and got into an argument with her is a story for another day.
But when we walked through that day, her reaction was priceless. She was beyond shocked.
This was definitely not the party she was expecting for her 60th as well, but her 61st Birthday Bash was celebrated with her friends, her colleagues, her favourites, and my entire family. It was amazing how no one said a word.
At the same time, it was a lesson learnt.
When the mother says no to a party, it means it's a YES!
Today would have been such a great day, too.
Have an amazing birthday, Mother. You were my person, and I will always remember you for your courage and inspiration. 🤍