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Therapy With Gwyn

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Therapy With Gwyn

Hi! I'm Gwyneth Shumar, MA, MFT - I'm a Philly-based therapist, cat mom, and pizza lover. 🐈🍕💖

03/07/2023

Hustle culture is a scam. The articles about “side hustles” and “10 ways to make an extra $1,000 a month,” are scams. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work you already have to do but feel like you need a “side hustle,” because you have no money, that’s because we are currently living in a world where only a few have the most money and the rest are struggling.

You can only do so much work - your energy and your time are not unlimited. You will run out!

What do you want to spend your time doing? How can you add more time to rest? Tell me in the comments! 👇🏻💜✨

02/13/2023

Happy ! I’m working on learning more about the Black scholars and people who have contributed to the field of psychology and therapy - this month and every month! I’m starting off with an author, social activist, researcher/professor/all-around-changemaker, bell hooks.

Reading her writing in grad school fundamentally changed the way I thought about feminism, families, and therapy.

Who should I highlight next for Black History Month: Psychology Edition? Tell me in the comments! 👇🏻✨💜

02/02/2023

Today’s mantra is: people love me when I’m not masking.

💜 You’re worthy of acceptance just as you are, even when you don’t act in ways that are “socially acceptable.”

💚 You’re worthy of loving yourself even when other people don’t understand how you’re feeling, thinking, or acting.

💙 People (including yourself) are capable of loving you when you’re not masking.

12/03/2022

If my therapist were Spotify, this is what my 2022 Wrapped would look like 🤪🫠

👉🏻 Follow me on Twitter for more long-form posts about mental health, research, therapy, and more (plus occasional goofy stuff). Link in bio!

⭐️ Remember, Instagram and social media aren’t therapy, so if you’re experiencing a crisis, please go directly to your local crisis center, emergency room or call your local crisis line.

⭐️ If you need help finding any of these phone numbers, check the link in my bio for a list of hotlines.

11/30/2022

👉🏻 Have you started talking to your kids about s*x, relationships, and consent?

🧐 Many people think kids need to be “old enough” to have these conversations, but the truth is that young kids are perfectly capable of talking about s*x, bodies, and relationships (as long as it’s at a developmentally appropriate level)!

👉🏻 Talking to kids about their bodies, s*x, & relationships means they’ll know you’re a safe person to ask for advice down the road - and that’s the goal!

🙋🏼‍♀️ Do you have a favorite kids book or movie that explains bodies, relationships, or consent? Drop it 👇🏻 in the comments for someone who might want to use it with their kids! 💜🌈✨

⭐️ Remember, Instagram and social media aren’t replacements for mental or medical healthcare, so if you’re experiencing a crisis, please go directly to your local crisis center or emergency room, or call your local crisis line.

⭐️ If you need help finding any of these phone numbers, check the link in my bio for a list of hotlines.

11/21/2022

When you talk about mental health, look for the people who will give you context, nuance, and and space to consider the options. Peoples experiences’ generally aren’t the same across the board, so it’s important to know that when it comes to psychology and mental health, “maybe” is more accurate than “definitely.”

Things I am trained in:

❤️ - helping people find their answers
🧡 - witnessing pain, emotions, and change
💜 - pattern identification

Things I am not (and never will be) trained in:

🔴 - mind-reading
🔵 - knowing “absolute” truths
🟢 - “fixing” people

Therapists, what are you actually trained in? Tell me in the comments below! 👇🏻✨🌈

11/08/2022

Doing good therapy means doing repair when necessary, AKA your therapist checking in when you seem upset, angry, or uncomfortable, AND/OR you feeling comfortable enough to tell your therapist when they said something you didn’t find helpful.

☝🏻 One of your therapist’s jobs is to model a healthy relationship dynamic with you - so they should work with you to set safe & compassionate boundaries and take feedback!

👉🏻 Have you ever had do “repair work” in real life or in therapy? How do you feel about it? Drop an emoji in the comments to let me know! 👇🏻🙂💜✨

10/10/2022

I made y’all some therapy memes because Mondays are hard.

If you think they’re extremely terrible (& even if you like them) please tag me in higher quality therapy meme content and I will post it to my story! ❤️✨🌈

09/12/2022

You know how the most successful reels on Instagram are 7-10 seconds?

Therapy is not like that.

Therapy takes longer and requires you to sit with your uncomfortable feelings and think about what’s going on for longer than 7 seconds.

Any Instagram account trying to tell you that you can learn big therapy concepts in 7 seconds is leaving out a lot of nuance, and I encourage you to research more and dig deeper!

👉🏻Can you name something you’ve seen on Instagram or social media that seemed simple because of the post but in real life was obviously more complicated? 👇🏻 Name it in the comments! 🌈❤️✨

⭐️ Remember, Instagram and social media aren’t therapy, so if you’re experiencing a crisis, please go directly to your local crisis center or emergency room or call your local crisis line.

⭐️ If you need help finding any of these phone numbers, check the link in my bio for a list of hotlines.

09/06/2022

This Tuesday’s affirmation is: I trust myself.

It’s incredibly common for trauma survivors to feel that they can’t trust their own instincts, thoughts, or experiences. How we feel in our bodies after trauma can feel like a betrayal because not only did we endure the trauma, we can no longer find that pocket of joy or peace within us.

Learning how to trust yourself, others, and the world is a journey - for me too! But today? I’m reminding myself that I can trust myself.

What do you need to tell yourself today? Let me know in the comments 👇🏻❤️✨🌈

⭐️Remember, Instagram and social media aren’t therapy, so if you’re experiencing a crisis, please go directly to your local crisis center or emergency room or call your local crisis line.

⭐️If you need help finding any of these phone numbers, check the link in my bio for a list of hotlines.

⭐️Want to know more about trauma and trauma therapy? Check my TRAUMA 101 highlight on my page.

09/01/2022

Hey you! I believe in you. I know this must be hard, and I know you can do it. I believe you can get through this, even if you feel beaten down and hopeless right now. I will hold some hope for you. ❤️🌈✨

08/28/2022

Happy Self-Care Sunday! Today, I’m making sure I finish all my notes, doing some laundry, and taking a long shower!

What are you doing for self-care today? What boundaries are you setting with yourself? Tell me in the comments! 👇🏻❤️🌈

08/27/2022

Did you know how common it is to experience trauma over the course of your life? 51-60% of people report having experienced a trauma at some point. Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, can develop after someone experiences a trauma(s), although many people do not!

Developing PTSD after a traumatic event is not unusual and it is highly treatable. Check out my 🌈 trauma 101 🌈 highlight on my profile to find out more about evidence-based therapies that are helpful in treating PTSD! ✨❤️

Source: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_adults.asp

08/23/2022

Ever heard of the “5 Stages of Grief?” If you have, then you might be interested to know that this quote is from the psychologist who came up with that theory!

Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross developed the concept of the 5 Stages of Grief after working with grieving clients a lot and wanting a model to better explain the emotions they experienced.

The 5 Stages of Grief is an older model of how we grieve, but still very helpful to understand some feelings that come up during grief and loss - and to begin the conversation of how to make meaning of our grief.

Have you ever heard of the 5 Stages of Grief? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏻✨🌈❤️

08/14/2022

When we set boundaries, we unfortunately can’t control whether or not people respect them.

What we CAN control is how we respond to people not respecting our boundaries - e.g. consistently retelling people our boundaries and having a “backup plan” for what we’ll do in response to people who are always disrespecting our boundaries.

Remember, setting boundaries is more about figuring out for yourself how you want to be treated and how you want to treat other people so when that DOESN’T happen, we can figure out how to act accordingly.

How do you feel about setting boundaries? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏻✨❤️🌈

08/08/2022

Did you know that the calming effect from breathing exercises comes from how s l o w we do it, not how deep we inhale?

You’ve probably heard it called “deep breathing” before - I’ve called it that myself! And in a new training recently I learned that research says that we feel calmer because of how we slow down & control our breathing, not by breathing “deeper.” This is because when we get anxious we have a tendency to hyperventilate ➡️ breathing exercises force us to SLOW DOWN and return to a normal breathing pattern.

Did you know that it was SLOW breathing instead of deep breathing? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! 👇🏻🌈✨❤️

08/03/2022

Burnout is truly so hard - and it’s a function of many of our work environments and capitalist culture. If you’re burned out, it’s not because you did something wrong - it’s because we don’t have adequate systems in place to support workers and make work sustainable!

We all deserve to be able to have our basic needs met, and contribute to our communities in meaningful ways that is both sustainable and rewarding. I hope that one day we can all have that. ❤️🌈✨

08/01/2022

Here’s my Therapist Life Hack #2! In therapy, we call the idea of breaking down a multi-step task or more complex idea into more manageable parts “chunking!”

Chunking can be SO helpful for anyone because we tend to get overwhelmed when trying to start big projects (or even household chores 😉) because our brains try to do all the steps at once.

Try deliberately practicing breaking down tasks that are more difficult, annoying, or anxiety-inducing into steps and try doing JUST the first step - ONLY move on to the second step once you’ve finished the first step! See if it works for you.

And remember - this is just another one of your skills in your coping skills toolbox. If you don’t love it, that’s okay! You might want it later, so keep it in mind - but remember, not all coping skills work for every single person, and that’s normal. 💜🌈✨

07/30/2022

This is a personal mantra that I started using LONG ago! Have you ever said to yourself “ugh, I can’t stand this! It’s too awful!” Me too - and then I started realizing that my own non-acceptance of the situation and refusal to tolerate it made me feel worse.

One of the best things I was able to do for myself was to differentiate between things I could deal with and things I couldn’t; things that were preference vs. things that were absolute needs. Being aware of my ability to tolerate things I didn’t like was so freeing!

Does knowing you can tolerate unpleasant things help you deal with them? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏻❤️🌈✨

07/28/2022

Swipe through ⬅️ to read my 5 parenting tips on helping your kiddo learn social media safety tips!

In family therapy, we navigate a ton of different challenges, and one of the common challenges parents/caregivers and kids face is parents worrying about kids using new technology. The good news is that not only is this a manageable issue - it can be kind of fun!

Parents & caregivers, here’s your permission slip to try out all the devices, apps, and websites that you’re “too old for.” In fact, you should! That way you can know what your kid gets up to - plus, you just might have some fun. If you’ve been resisting downloading TikTok or playing a game on the Nintendo Switch: go try it!

What’s one question you have about navigating parenting and social media safety? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏻🌈❤️✨

07/24/2022

Happy ! What can you do today to take care of yourself today? Let me know what you’re doing for self-care today in the comments! 👇🏻💜🌸✨

07/21/2022

Here’s a good quote by Carl Jung, but I’d like to add a note: we are absolutely made up of our experiences, traumas, and memories. These set the stage for how much energy we have on a daily basis, how much support we get from loved ones, and any/all privileges we may have.

AND - we are not 100% defined by these aspects of our person! We are so much more than JUST a collection of our experiences, personality traits, and memories (an idea called nonsummativity). Being human is complex, mysterious, and often beautiful. 🖤

What are some of the mysterious, beautiful things you love about yourself (or people in general)? 🌈✨

07/18/2022

Let’s talk about the opposite of self-care - what I like to call self-neglect (but others might call self-abandonment or something else).

Self-neglect is a HUGE player when it comes to feeling depressed. Have you ever noticed how you feel when you neglect your basic self-care? For instance: showering, cleaning up your space, laundry, moving your body, eating foods that make your body feel good, etc.?

I personally know that I’ve gotten into a cycle of self-neglect and depression when my apartment starts to look VERY chaotic and I’m heavily relying on dry shampoo. I begin to feel more centered when I’m able to keep things more neat and I go to bed after doing my skincare routine!

These are personal examples and definitely don’t apply to everyone - what are your warning signs that you’re entering your self-neglect/depressing cycle? 💜✌🏻🌸

07/16/2022

988 is live nationwide in the US today!

Anyone who is struggling, needing support for depression, or having thoughts of su1c1de can reach out to the National Su1c1de & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

If you want to know more, go to 988lifeline.org to learn more! 🖤🌈✨

#988

07/13/2022

Have you ever gotten frustrated trying to figure out how to use “coping skills?” I have good news for you. You already use coping skills!

We all use coping skills every single day to manage anything that’s unpleasant, annoying, upsetting, etc. - even if it’s just getting into bed and pulling the covers over our heads!

In therapy we try to learn coping skills that are more effective in case the strategies we’ve been using end up causing EXTRA problems in our life. The goal of coping skills is to make you feel better and reduce your problems - not multiply them!

Do you have a favorite “effective” coping skill? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏻💜🌸✨

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When you talk about mental health, look for the people who will give you context, nuance, and and space to consider the options. Peoples experiences’ generally aren’t the same across the board, so it’s important to know that when it comes to psychology and mental health, “maybe” is more accurate than “definitely.” Things I am trained in: ❤️ - helping people find their answers 🧡 - witnessing pain, emotions, and change 💜 - pattern identification Things I am not (and never will be) trained in: 🔴 - mind-reading 🔵 - knowing “absolute” truths 🟢 - “fixing” people Therapists, what are you actually trained in? Tell me in the comments below! 👇🏻✨🌈 #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #therapy #trauma #traumainformed #traumatherapy #depression #anxiety #reels #reelsinstagram #instagood #traumarecovery #recovery

Do you and your partner talk about the reasons why you want/need certain things? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏻💜🌈✨ #therapy #couplestherapy #relationships #psychology #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #selfesteem #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #selfcompassion #confidence

Have you ever had a glitch in your thinking? By that I mean a moment where you thought, “wait, is that accurate? Is that what happened?” When we THINK about our own THINKING ➡️ that’s called metacognition! Questioning your own thoughts (in moderation) is healthy. When we’re able to question if a thought is factual or coming from anxiety/depression/etc., then we get to choose whether we listen to that thought. Being able to challenge our thoughts can lead to an increased sense of peace! Remember - if it doesn’t work in the moment, that’s okay! You might want it later and can keep it in your metaphorical coping skills toolbox. 🧰 🔨 #mentalhealth #depression #psychology #recovery #mindset #mentalhealthawareness #therapy #selfcompassion #anxiety #growth #consciousness #personalgrowth