03/21/2024
Oftentimes, when an adult has the struggles explained above, their parents are enabling the behavior.
Imagine this scenario: Your son is 25 years old and has moved out for the third time, but he calls you in a panic because once again, he can’t pay rent. You let him move back home so he won’t be living in his car. Then, because he blows his money, he doesn’t have the money to continue paying for the lease he is contracted into, so you pay it for him. You also continue to buy his food, do his laundry, pay for his gas, etc.
You can see that he struggles to manage his adult responsibilities, but he is your child, so you feel the need to help him. Unfortunately, all it is doing is enabling irresponsible behavior and allowing him to continue to rely on someone else to take care of him when he should be fully capable of doing it on his own.
Enabling is fixing someone’s problems in a way that it interferes with their growth and learning responsibility. An enabler rushes to the rescue without allowing their adult child to make mistakes and receive consequences, which is important so that the individual learns a valuable lesson.
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