05/07/2024
Does change take time, or, is it instantaneous?
Story time!
Once upon a time, there was a girl who carried a heavy burden of anger, resentment, and hurt for many years. Her story began fifteen years ago during a family gathering at her parents' home. Though she had always felt a bit insecure around her mom, her relationship with her dad was strong and comforting.
During the party, feeling a need to talk to her dad, she went looking for him. As she walked up the stairs, she overheard her mother's voice sharp and clear, "She has no redeemable qualities, she’s a waste of space." Curious about who could be the subject of such harsh criticism, she paused to listen more closely. Her mother expressed regret, "I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t say these things," but it was her father’s response that would haunt her forever: "You are completely right. Sarah is no good, all she does is cause harm. I would have nothing to do with her if I could. I wish she would just go away or disapear."
Stunned to realize they were talking about her, her heart shattered. She left the house that day and severed all ties with her family, nursing her wounds in isolation for years. After a decade and a half filled with pain, she finally started therapy, where she was encouraged to reach out to a sibling. Driven by a desperate need to heal, she contacted her younger sister via social media.
After some time, they met for coffee. Her sister, puzzled by her sudden disappearance years ago, pressed for answers. Overwhelmed with emotion, she blurted out, "Mom and Dad hate me, they are the ones that didn’t want me!" Her sister, shocked, replied, "That makes no sense. You leaving destroyed them, especially Dad. How could you think that?"
She recounted the painful words she had overheard, convinced of their disdain for her. But her sister looked bewildered. "They were talking about Sarah?" she asked. "You mean, talking about me?" she corrected, bewildered. Her sister then revealed a crucial detail—a few months prior to her leaving, their father's boss had gotten involved with a ruthless woman who had made life miserable for him at work. Her name was Sarah.
In that moment, Sera’s resentments, anger, and feelings of inadequacy were removed. Over the next few weeks, Sera was completely back in her family's lives. She had worked so hard at learning to let go and forgive with little success over the years. But once the truth revealed itself, no effort was required; there was no trying or working on it. All the storylines and beliefs fell away the moment that truth was revealed.