Mental Healthiness

07/14/2025

Most of us don’t think about culture unless we’re outside of it.

But culture doesn’t just shape what we wear or celebrate. It shapes what we believe counts as normal. It shapes how we understand emotion, personality, morality—even mental health.

When I was a kid growing up bilingual and bicultural, I learned early that the same behavior could mean different things in different contexts. At school, it was good to speak up and be independent. At home, it was good to listen and contribute.

That wasn’t confusing. It was clarifying. It taught me that behavior only makes sense inside a frame—and that frame is culture.

As a psychiatrist, I see this everywhere. Culture shapes how symptoms get described, which emotions get validated, and whose distress gets pathologized. Most of the time, that influence is invisible. But it’s always there.

We often assume psychology is about universal truths. But much of the research behind it comes from WEIRD samples—Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic populations. That’s about 10% of the world. And yet, we’ve treated those norms as the human default.

The consequences are real. From how we interpret anger in different racial contexts, to how we assess personality, to which syndromes get fully recognized in the DSM and which ones are relegated to the appendix—culture quietly determines the frame. And that frame decides what we see as legitimate.

In my latest essay, I argue that culture isn’t an overlay on top of psychology—it’s the infrastructure underneath it. From the rise of eating disorders in reductionist food cultures, to the different national responses to COVID, to the way emotional expression is rewarded or punished based on race, class, or geography—we are all shaped by an environment we rarely see.

This piece is part of my series on The Impact of Environment, but in some ways, it’s the core of the whole project. Because culture is the one environment we inherit before anything else. It defines our defaults—often before we even know we have them.

If you've ever felt misread, mislabeled, or misunderstood—not because something was wrong with you, but because the lens wasn’t made for you—this essay is for you.

Explore how culture influences mental health, shaping emotions, personality, and societal norms beyond WEIRD biases.

06/30/2025

Built for the Wild, Born in Captivity

What if the modern human condition isn’t defined by stress or speed—but by misalignment?

We’ve evolved for connection, rhythm, reciprocity. But we now live in environments designed for productivity, performance, and constant stimulation. Like zoo animals in carefully constructed enclosures, we’re fed, housed, and entertained—yet often restless, anxious, and emotionally adrift. Not because we’re weak, but because the world we’ve built no longer fits the nervous systems we inherited.

We didn’t get here overnight. In a new essay, I trace the major adaptations that brought us to this moment:

- Agriculture, which turned relationships into roles and introduced inequality.
- Industrialization, which severed us from natural rhythms and treated time like currency.
- Capitalism, which commodified labor, care, and even rest.
- Digital life, which overwhelms our social brains with constant stimuli and disembodied communication.

Each breakthrough solved problems—but also created new ones. We’ve survived. But are we thriving?

This isn’t a call to escape or romanticize the past. It’s a call to adapt with wisdom. To remember what kinds of environments allow us to feel fully human—and begin redesigning the ones we live in.

If you've ever felt like you're doing everything "right" but still feel off, disconnected, or inexplicably tired—this piece is for you.

We’ve adapted to modern life—but at what cost? Explore how comfort, capitalism, and digital life have reshaped our minds, bodies, and sense of meaning.

06/23/2025

🔍 How to “C” Clearly: 5 Habits for Thinking, Learning, and Living with Depth

In a world that often rewards quick takes and loud certainty, it’s easy to fall into the trap of acting like we already know everything.

But real clarity doesn’t come from having the right answer—it comes from being open.

I've been thinking a lot about how we learn, unlearn, and make sense of new experiences. Especially when those experiences surprise us, shake our assumptions, or challenge our sense of what’s true.

That’s where this framework came from.

“How to ‘C’ Clearly” is a reflection on five habits that help us stay grounded, thoughtful, and open to growth:

🌱 Complexity – Assume nuance, not simplicity. The world is rarely black-and-white.
🔍 Curiosity – Stay humble. “I don’t know” is where real learning begins.
🤯 Confusion – Surprise is your brain’s signal that something new is happening. Listen to it.
🤝 Consultation – Don’t go it alone. Ask for help from people who know more.
🧠 Consolidation – Make time to reflect, revise your maps, and integrate what you’ve learned.

When practiced together, these habits can help us think more clearly, grow more wisely, and live more authentically.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by information, unsure what to believe, or caught between complexity and clarity… this is for you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What helps you “C” clearly?

Discover five essential mental habits—complexity, curiosity, confusion, consultation, and consolidation—to think clearly, grow wisely, and keep learning deeply.

06/19/2025

I’ll be at the Ripple Effect 2025: Walk for Su***de Prevention this Saturday June 21 with colleagues, supporting the incredible work of Changing Tides. Come say hi at our booth!

I’ll be sharing more about my practice and blog at Mental Healthiness, where I write about emotions, how environment impacts our wellbeing, and what it means to be human in a complex world. If you’re curious about the deeper “why” behind mental health, stop by—I’d love to connect.

The Ripple Effect: Walk for Su***de Prevention will raise funds to support Changing Tides efforts in supporting mental health in the AAPI community and build bridges in su***de prevention.

06/16/2025

New Essay: “How Money Shapes Our Emotional Environment"

We talk about money all the time—but rarely about what it actually buys in a psychological sense.

Not just things, but breathing room.
Not just comfort, but recovery time.
Not just convenience, but permission to fail and try again.

This essay is the long-delayed continuation of my Impact of Environment series. Parts 1 and 2 explored how context shapes behavior—why willpower isn’t just a matter of character, and why personal choice is never fully separate from structural constraint.

Part 3 picks up that thread and goes deeper:
What does money do to a person’s environment? What does it shield us from? What does its absence expose us to?

More importantly—why do we believe that those with money are somehow more deserving of it?

We’re told rich people are just good with money.
That they’re harder working.
That they earned everything they have.
That they deserve it.

But what if they’re not navigating the system more wisely—just navigating a different system entirely?

This essay looks at four myths about money and merit—and then examines four systems that reinforce them:

A tax structure that protects ownership while taxing labor.

College admissions that reward legacy over merit.

Housing laws that preserve exclusion under the guise of neighborhood character.

A justice system that punishes poverty while excusing large-scale financial harm.

In each case, we aren’t just dealing with inequality of income. We’re dealing with inequality of environment—and with it, inequality of perception, judgment, and margin.

This is the first in a new arc within the series. Upcoming essays will explore how culture, religion, media, and schooling shape what we believe is normal, human, or moral.

If you’ve ever felt like money determines more than it should—or that we blame people for failing in systems designed to fail them—this piece is for you.

What money really buys: margin, security, and access. This essay exposes how wealth shapes environment, belief, and opportunity in unseen ways.

06/09/2025

🧠🤖 New Essay: Why AI 2027 Won’t Happen (At Least Not Like That)

The AI 2027 project outlines two stark futures: one where AGI is rushed and humanity is annihilated by a misaligned intelligence — and another where development slows to allow time for safety and alignment.

I don’t challenge the technical plausibility of either path. What I question is the speed and uniformity of human response. This essay explores why belief, power, confusion, and social inertia will play a much larger role than the scenarios assume — not just in preventing catastrophe, but in shaping how AGI is used, trusted, or resisted in the real world.



https://mentalhealthiness.com/2025/06/09/why-ai-2027-wont-happen-at-least-not-like-that/

06/02/2025

What if the love that saves you also breaks the world?

In The Last of Us Season 2, the most brutal acts aren’t driven by hatred—they’re driven by love. Joel’s love for Ellie. Ellie’s love for Joel. Abby’s love for her father. And that’s what makes the violence in this story so emotionally devastating: it’s not random, not monstrous. It’s human.

I’ve been sitting with this season—replaying scenes in my head—not the big spectacles, but the ones built around grief, loyalty, and moral ambiguity. This isn't just a show about the apocalypse. It's a meditation on what we do for “our people,” and how far we’ll go to make their memory mean something.

This essay explores three core ideas the show brings to life—ideas also supported by psychology and research:

Empathy, and how it’s easier to feel when we’ve lived something similar.

Violence, and how personal exposure (not media or games) shapes our behavior far more than people realize.

Belonging, and how loyalty to our in-group can justify almost anything—even actions we’d normally see as unforgivable.

What makes The Last of Us so brilliant isn’t just the storytelling. It’s the emotional realism. Everyone is someone’s villain. And everyone believes they’re doing the right thing. That tension isn’t just narratively compelling—it’s psychologically accurate.

This is a story where even a Pearl Jam lyric—“If I were to ever lose you”—can become both a love letter and a justification for vengeance. The line blurs between tenderness and rage, healing and harm.

Because in the end, The Last of Us doesn’t ask us to pick a side. It asks us to look in the mirror.

Explore how love and violence intertwine in Season 2 of The Last of Us, revealing the emotional complexity behind each character's choices.

05/19/2025

📚 Five Books That Changed How I Understand Being Human

There’s no single book that captures what it means to be human.
But I’ve found five that, together, come close.

Each one shines a light on a different piece of the puzzle:

Thinking – Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
Feeling – How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett
Behaving – Behave by Robert Sapolsky
Relating – Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Abiding – Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
They don’t overlap much—but they work together. And over time, they’ve reshaped how I understand people, how I practice psychiatry, and how I parent and show up in the world.

This isn’t just a reading list. It’s a reflection of what I’ve learned through years of working with others—and trying to understand myself. These books helped me move beyond symptoms and start asking deeper questions about meaning, context, connection, and change.

They’re not short. They’re not perfect. But they’ve stayed with me. And I hope they might have something to offer you, too.



https://mentalhealthiness.com/2025/05/19/essential-reading-the-mental-healthiness-five/

05/12/2025

Why do some people carry trauma more deeply than others?

That’s a question I explore in my latest essay: The Roots of Trauma: What Shapes Our Sensitivity to Suffering

We’ve come a long way in talking about trauma. The words “triggered,” “dysregulated,” and “trauma-informed” now appear in classrooms, HR policies, and mental health reels. But somewhere along the way, the complexity got flattened. We started using trauma language more, but not always more meaningfully.

This essay is my attempt to reclaim that depth—with empathy and precision.

It’s not just about what happened to someone. It’s also about how their body responded. Their stress system. Their inherited sensitivity. Even the biological echoes of trauma from generations past.

In it, I explore four research-backed pathways that shape trauma vulnerability:

Adverse Childhood Experiences – not just extreme abuse, but also neglect and chronic chaos.
Stress Biology – how the nervous system adapts (or overreacts) to survive.
Genetic Sensitivity – some people are wired to feel more deeply, and that can be a gift or a burden.
Epigenetics – how trauma can biologically imprint itself across generations… and how healing can, too.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about context.

Because the more we understand the why behind people’s struggles, the more compassion we can offer—and the better chance we have of responding wisely instead of reactively.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too sensitive,” if you’ve wondered why some wounds don’t fade, or if you’re trying to be more trauma-informed in a world full of misinformation, I hope this piece offers something useful.



https://mentalhealthiness.com/2025/05/12/the-roots-of-trauma-what-shapes-our-sensitivity-to-suffering/

05/07/2025

Kraemer wrote that when he first published his article, “the press said I was suggesting that boys should be treated more like girls.” Not so, he argued. “I said that boys should be treated more like human beings.”

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2025/04/boy-girl-nurture-gap-masculinity/682396/

05/05/2025

When we’re starved for safety, connection, or control, we don’t stop being human—we start making human decisions in inhuman conditions.

In Yellowjackets Season 3, trauma isn’t just part of the plot—it’s the atmosphere. In this essay, I explore what the show gets right about leadership, fear, deprivation, and how our past shapes our future. This isn’t just about TV—it’s about all of us.

A psychiatrist's reflection on how Yellowjackets Season 3 reveals the effects of fear, deprivation, and unresolved trauma

04/28/2025

When I sit with people, I’m often struck by how much their suffering isn’t just personal—it’s systemic.

In my latest essay, I use the metaphor of the Human Zoo to explore why understanding our history, our systems, and our humanity is crucial—especially as we face the next great shift with AI.

We need both STEM and the Humanities if we want to build a future worth living in.

The article critiques the trend of isolating computer science from the humanities, highlighting how this separation creates a generation of technologists disconnected from the ethical implications …