Timothy Dearhamer LCSW

08/31/2025

“When a mother tells her son, ‘You are a mistake,’ it constitutes emotional abuse. Unlike a critique of behavior, which can be corrected, this kind of statement attacks the child’s very being. It carries the same destructive weight as saying, ‘You should never have been born.’ Words like this plant deep seeds of shame and unworthiness that can follow a child into adulthood. Understanding this distinction is vital: calling out the abuse isn’t about blaming, but about naming the harm so that healing can begin.”

08/27/2025

If you are using or thinking of using one of the "AI" programs for coaching or therapy, please take time to tell it what style or type of therapy you would like. I would encourage you to use a prompt like: ""Act as a therapist using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I’m struggling with racing thoughts about work, and I feel like I can’t shut my brain off at night. Please guide me through an ACT-based exercise that helps me notice these thoughts without getting stuck in them, and suggest a way I can connect to my values in this situation." Please know that the AI is not a therapist but has read about what therapists do and combines with what it has read about the principles and practice of ACT.

08/07/2025

I'm sharing this resource far and wide. Su***de prevention developed by one of my best professors at OU.

https://sprc.org/resources/su***de-risk-assessment-toolkit/?fbclid=IwY2xjawMB6UBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHi6DTvueKDgq1amh2igxXU7l6TWUh8rzmCDIXyJ9A74zj_XLs9vULDDIkI4z_aem_ygeLePz0VlTAjemvIrmAUA

SPRC’s Su***de Risk Assessment Toolkit is designed to help social workers and other behavioral health clinicians conduct effective su***de risk assessment. The toolkit contains the following downloadable resources:

07/29/2025

A short video I recorded about listening to validate.

Welcome to my channel! In this video, I dive into a crucial aspect of communication in relationships: the difference between "listen to fix" and "listen to v...

07/22/2025

What’s the Difference Between Therapy and Coaching (and Which One Do You Need)?

So, you’re feeling stuck. Maybe you’re struggling to stay focused, keep your home life running smoothly, or just feel like you’re spinning your wheels—and you’re thinking: “Should I find a therapist? Or maybe a coach? What’s the difference anyway?”

Great question. It’s one I get all the time, and honestly, the line between therapy and coaching can feel a little blurry. So let’s break it down in real, human terms.

🎯 Coaching: Forward-Focused and Practical

Think of coaching like having a personal trainer for your life—someone who helps you build better habits, stay accountable, and reach your goals. Coaching is action-oriented. It’s about moving forward, not digging into your past.

Here’s what coaching might help with:

Setting up systems to stay organized (especially if you have ADHD)
Improving communication with your partner or kids
Figuring out how to follow through on goals
Building confidence and momentum
Coaching doesn’t diagnose or treat mental health disorders. It’s not about processing trauma or exploring childhood wounds—it’s about practical strategies to get unstuck and stay moving.

And the best part? Coaching isn’t tied to geography. If you live outside of Oklahoma or Iowa or anywhere outside the U.S., I can offer coaching no problem.

🧠 Therapy: Insight, Healing, and Emotional Growth

Therapy is where we slow down and look inward. It’s a safe space to explore what’s behind your anxiety, depression, stress, or relationship struggles. Therapy often involves understanding your patterns, processing difficult experiences, and building emotional insight.

Here’s what therapy might help with:

Managing anxiety, depression, or trauma
Navigating a tough season in life (grief, divorce, burnout)
Understanding why you react the way you do in relationships
Treating ADHD, including support with medication or diagnosis
Therapy is a clinical service, which means it’s licensed, regulated, and bound by laws that vary depending on where you live. Because I’m licensed in the U.S., I can only offer therapy to clients who are physically located in Oklahoma and Iowa.

🤔 Not Sure Which One You Need?

If you’re focused on getting organized, building skills, and improving everyday life, coaching might be a great fit.

If you’re struggling with emotional distress, mental health symptoms, or past pain that’s still affecting you, therapy is probably the better path.

And if you’re still not sure? Reach out. We can talk through your goals, where you’re located, and what makes the most sense for you right now.

One Last Thing

Both therapy and coaching are about helping you grow, feel better, and show up more fully in your life. You don’t need to have it all figured out before starting. Just be willing to take the first step.

Wherever you are, I’m here to help.

You can return to our homepage by clicking here, or you can try searching for the content you are seeking by clicking here.

07/21/2025

Struggling with chronic procrastination, overwhelming to-do lists, falling behind at work, daily forgetfulness, difficulty asking for help, feelings of rejection, and dissatisfaction with home and family life? You might be dealing with ADHD.

Ever wondered if ADHD could be affecting your life? Were you diagnosed with ADHD as a student? Or perhaps you're now considering if ADHD might explain some of your challenges?

Timothy specializes in assessing and helping adults understand both the "superpower" and the "kryptonite" of living with ADHD. Take the first step towards a better understanding and management of your ADHD. Book your appointment today at

Therapist/Counselor for depression, anxiety, ADHD, trauma, men, women, couples, families. Virtual/In-person in Tulsa, Broken Arrow, Owasso. Insurance accepted.

07/20/2025

What to expect in Therapy

07/16/2025

Couples often have a difficult time talking about s*x and intimacy. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-s*x/202504/most-americans-wish-they-had-more-s*x?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost&fbclid=IwQ0xDSwLkwkNleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHkK4IhVP3ultIzKYzm66MAJ-CO24WEZ0vtokQf833M0rYXj-3iyaJudqspQs_aem_XMBJbV754gmsgzQ_CTLwGg

Only about 4 percent think they're having s*x too often.

07/15/2025

I'm wondering if there is interest for a free webinar for parents for ADHD success with middle and high school students. If interested please let me know on the form and share with anyone who might be interested. Thank you!

Express your interest in attending one of our free webinars for parents of middle school and high school students with ADHD.

07/11/2025

Everyone who is neurodivergent is not the same any more than everyone who is an American is the same. You learn about a person from talking with them not reading a book or watching a video about neurodiversity.

07/01/2025

**🌿 Thinking About Therapy? Here's One Approach That Might Resonate 🌿**

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a powerful, compassionate approach that helps you stop fighting your thoughts and start living a life that reflects your values.

ACT doesn’t aim to "fix" you — instead, it helps you make space for hard emotions, unhook from self-doubt, and take meaningful steps forward (even when life is messy). It’s especially helpful if you’re navigating anxiety, ADHD, depression, grief, or big life changes.

If you’re curious about therapy but don’t know where to start, ACT might be the gentle, practical framework you’ve been looking for.

📞 I offer ACT-based therapy for adults in Oklahoma and Iowa, with online sessions available. Message me if you’d like to learn more or schedule a free consult. You’re not broken — you’re human. And you don’t have to go it alone. 💬

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04/29/2025

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