16/04/2026
When my guardians sent me to school (a public school in our small central Texas town), they assumed I would be in good hands, with a loving teacher who would understand and care for my needs while keeping me out of trouble.
My mission was to “be good” and “do what the teachers told me,” parting words imprinted in my brain as I ventured to school. “Be good” and comply.
Once in class, I wanted so badly to “be good” but didn’t understand my teacher’s expectations of “good” (because the expectations in school were much different than they had been at home).
I never went to my guardians for help with what was happening to me at school with the public shaming through the abusive Behavior Board or how my teacher would get mad when I asked questions in class.
I’d been told to listen to these adults and do what they said, and they had said I was “bad,” and I believed them. Since I thought I was “bad,” I felt I deserved all the punishment (abuse) I received.
As a child, I didn’t speak to the mental abuse (being publicly shamed for expressing myself Autistically) or when I was physically punished (abused) in school for being “too active” and stimming “being disruptive” in class because I didn’t know it was abuse, but I KNOW it was abuse NOW.
Maybe the teacher didn’t know she was abusing me (and likely MANY other NeuroDivergent kids over the years), but her intent doesn’t mean more than her impact. Years later, I’m still processing and recovering from that trauma.
I didn’t speak up because I was young and didn’t have the words to express my feelings or how I was struggling, and also because I was ashamed, believing the abuse was my fault and I deserved to be “punished.” Also, I thought asking for help would only result in more punishment (because my teacher was an authority figure who had power over me in class and influence over my guardians).
Many young people don’t report abuse due to these power imbalances, especially if the abuser is an authority figure or caregiver OR someone who may be protected by an authority figure or caregiver (like a sibling or peer).
Link to full post in comments.
