https://www.facebook.com/104831491550296/

Hanouf Alahmari, MA, LMFT, Los Angeles, CA (2025)

06/02/2022

‎لمن يبحث عن التشافي

‎إليك كتيّب كل ما يجب أن تعرفه عن التعلّق العاطفي المرضي وتحقيق استقلالك العاطفي
‎للمعالجة النفسية/ هنوف الأحمري

‎اضغط على الرابط في البايو للحصول على الكتيّب الإلكتروني المجاني الآن!

‎نبذة عن المؤلف
‎هنوف الأحمري، معالجة نفسية ومتخصصة في العلاج الزواجي والأسري. حازت على البورد السلوكي بصفة معالجة زواج وأسرة في ولاية كاليفورنيا وحصلت على البورد السعودي كأخصائية نفسية أولى. بدأت بممارسة المهنة عام 2014 في إقليم لوس انجلس ثم افتتحت لاحقًا عيادتها الخاصة في الإقليم ذاته وهي التي تعمل فيها حاليًا

‏‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة #حب #تدريب

06/02/2022

The effect of Abusive parenting.

Abusive parenting instills a terrible sense of shame, incompetence, or superiority in children.

If the effect of abusive parenting was left unrecognized and untreated, it could lead to the wounds persisting into adulthood and the unintentional repetition of the abuse in parenting the next generation.

When events in a codependent's life trigger unconscious memories of their childhood wounding, they relive the same or grandiosity of their youth. Therefore, they may react immaturely and dysfunctionally.

Almost all trauma results are "disempowering" or "falsely empowering." One of two things happens when a parent is abusive.
1) They may try to humiliate the child into quiet to relieve their own stress, which disempowers the child, and results in the child internalizing shame, and no one notices.
2) The parents may manipulate the child by giving adult roles to the child. The youngster is expected to complete tasks for which the parent is responsible. The guilt of not performing like an adult or the grandiosity of being assigned these responsibilities have the same result: the child loses touch with their true self.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

Mellody, P., Miller, A. W., & Miller, J. K. (2002). Facing Codependence. Harper San Francisco.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة #حب

05/31/2022

Why post-traumatic stress symptoms do not improve?
Being exposed to a traumatic event such as domestic violence, physical abuse, or sexual abuse can cause intrusive symptoms, emotions, or thoughts unbearable to an individual. As a result, this individual may attempt to escape or avoid these intrusive symptoms. There are many ways to avoid thinking about or feeling these emotions related to a traumatic event. These ways include keeping busy, drinking or using drugs, not going to therapy sessions, or engaging in self-harm to numb memories and feelings or sleep without nightmares. All these types of avoidance are effective in the short run but prevent processing the traumatic event. Therefore, avoidance prevents people from recovering.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/29/2022

Self-sabotage behaviors in romantic relationships

What is the definition of self-sabotage? It occurs when we intentionally harm our own success and well-being by undermining personal goals and beliefs or when we harm ourselves physically, intellectually, or emotionally. Depending on one's level of awareness, it can be conscious or unconscious.

Self-sabotage in relationships
The reasons for sabotaging relationships are varied, but understanding their origins is crucial for change.
Sabotage in relationships can take many forms, including:
- Choosing unsuitable partners
- Creating conflicts
- Refusing to commit to a relationship
- Having expectations that are unrealistic
- Persistent mistrust
- Self-silence
- Losing oneself in the relationship
- Ignoring negative emotions
- Criticizing your partner
- Reserving resentment
- Directing energy away from the partnership
- Focusing on your partner's weaknesses rather than the connection

The self-sabotage behaviors above can hinder your goals and move you away from having your needs in a romantic relationship fulfilled.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

What Is Self-Sabotage? How to Help Stop the Vicious Cycle. (2021, April 22). PositivePsychology.Com.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/28/2022

Five Beliefs Affected by Trauma
Trauma events can alter your beliefs about yourself, others, and the world in the following areas:
* Safety
* Trust
* Power/control
* Esteem
* Intimacy

These beliefs tend to be negative and can affect your social, occupational, academic, or day-to-day functioning.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/27/2022

The Love Bombing Trap
The term "love bombing" refers to an overly affectionate pattern of behavior that usually occurs during the start of a relationship, especially a romantic one, in which one party "bombs" the other with over-the-top shows of affection and attention. Showering the other person with presents and/or compliments, expressing love early on, and/or taking steps to communicate constantly and spend increasing amounts of time together are all examples of this behavior.

Love bombing is an intentional and manipulative method used to obtain control of a new partner and build their reliance on the bomber. As a result, it's frequently linked to people who have high levels of narcissism or other antisocial tendencies or participate in domestic violence. However, someone can engage in such actions without necessarily intending to harm others.

Love Bombing Indications and Stages
The following are some of the most common indicators that someone is love bombing another person:
Gives a lot of gifts and/or spends a lot of money, especially early on in a relationship.
Flattery that is excessive and/or exaggerated
A love bomber can show an early, frequent, and/or intense statement of love and affection expressed on the first date. Examples of these statements are "I love you," "You're my soulmate," or "You're everything I'm looking for."
Attempts to stay in touch all the time—for example, sending continual SMS or phone calls to the other person.
Seeks immediate commitment; for example, in a romantic relationship, brings up marriage or moving in together straight away.
Shows emotional neediness and reactivity; may become irritated if the other person has other plans or does not respond to a communication immediately.
Ignores the other person's attempts to establish boundaries.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

Love Bombing | Psychology Today. (2022, May 1). Psychology Today; www.psychologytoday.com.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/26/2022

What does it mean to have a dysregulated nervous system?
A dysregulated nervous system causes us to respond through our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to an event, person, or situation in a seemingly inappropriate or disproportional way, either under-react or over-react. Unresolved, unfinished stress responses from our past are the most common reason.

Symptoms of a nervous system that isn't working properly
Anxiety, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Depression, Insomnia, Poor Concentration, Poor Memory, Addiction, and Tiredness are all indicators of a dysregulated neural system.
It can result in dysfunctional, inappropriate, or aggressive conduct characterized by either 1) over-reaction (e.g., outbursts, tantrums, rage) or 2) under-reaction (e.g., passivity, catatonia, withdrawal, shutting down) to people, events, or situations.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

Nervous system dysregulation - MindHealth360. (2020, November 16). MindHealth360.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/25/2022

Things You May Not Know About Transgenerational Trauma.

What is Transgenerational Trauma?
It is the psychological and physiological effects that the trauma experienced by people gets passed down from one generation to another. Therefore, it may appear as the same type of trauma or another form of trauma.

Example of Transgenerational Trauma:
Grandparents: Domestic violence. Neglect. Anger. Untreated or undiagnosed mental health illnesses.
Parents: alcoholism. Neglect. Emotional abuse. Physical abuse. Untreated depression.
Children: Codependency. Mental abuse. Suicidality. Eating disorders.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

Five signs that you were raised in an enmeshed family:

Enmeshment is a term used to characterize family relationships in which responsibilities and expectations are unclear. Parents are excessively and inappropriately reliant on their children for support. Children are not permitted to develop emotional independence or separation from their parents. As a result, members in enmeshed households are emotionally bonded in an unhealthy way.

- It's never about pleasing or taking care of yourself; it's always about pleasing or taking care of others.
- You feel responsible for the happiness and well-being of others.
- You attempt to avoid disagreement and lack the ability to say "no."
- You don't have a clear idea of who you are.
- You absorb other people's emotions and feel compelled to solve their issues.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

Martin, S. (2019, May 14). 13 Signs You Grew Up in an Enmeshed Family - Live Well with Sharon Martin.

#الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

Five signs that you are in a codependent relationship
How do you know if you are in a codependent relationship with either your partner or someone else? If you or the other individual does or believes one or more of the following:

A codependent has no or little personal identity, interests, or values outside of their codependent relationship due to neglecting or lacking these interests or values. They get their joy and sense of themselves from being in a codependent relationship. When a codependent considers or expresses their own wishes and demands, they frequently experience severe guilt. As a result, they may repress or have trouble interpreting their emotions.
Even if the other individual hurts or abuses them psychologically or physically, a codependent will often stay in a relationship.
To please the other individual, the codependent makes significant sacrifices, frequently at the cost of their own time, energy, and well-being. In addition, to suit the other individual's needs, they often disregard their own principles and conscience. Meanwhile, the other individual facilitates this behavior by accepting it or even expecting it.
A codependent is obsessed with and concerned about keeping the other individual happy. As a result, they may be cautious to avoid provoking the other individual's negative mood or be highly anxious about their relationship and how to keep it going.
Codependents tend to have a history of addiction, abuse, mental illness, or family trauma. Codependency is a way to cope with this history. Codependency is a conditioned response to stressful life experiences that allows people to compensate for, reject, lessen, and/or cope with them.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

How to Know if You’re in a Codependent Relationship | Psychology Today. (2022, May 1)

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

Why is self-blame a control mechanism in childhood?

Self-blame is a survival strategy. If a child blames the caregiver for their trauma, they undermine their faith in the caregiver's ability to care for them, which means that they are alone in the world and unable to care for themselves. Blaming themselves provides the illusion that they're still in control of the situation and, therefore, are safe - even when they're not. That narrative of self-blame often follows them into adulthood, manifesting as feelings like "I'm not good enough" or "I'm unlovable."

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

‎‏Ironistic. (2019, December 16). Self-Blame - The Ross Center. The Ross Center.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

Emotional Numbness: Five Ways to Cope

Make your body move.
To reconnect with your body: walk about your room shaking your arms out, turn on a lively song and dance, go for a bike ride, a brisk walk, swim, or do yoga. Or think back to the physical activities you enjoyed as a child.

Talk about it.
When we don't have somebody to talk to, we tend to push our uncomfortable emotions down because it feels safer. However, if you do this for long enough, you may find it easy to feel nothing at all – emotional numbness.
It's important to confide in someone you trust. A neurotransmitter called oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, will be released due to the bonding experience with others, which can be a pleasant relief from "nothingness." Talk to a therapist if you don't feel comfortable sharing your feelings with someone you know.

Try some grounding activities.
If you're feeling numb and disconnected, try utilizing grounding techniques to reconnect your awareness to your body and surroundings. These methods are used with PTSD and anxiety.
Here are some suggestions:
Deeply inhale and notice how your breath moves through your body.
Examine the feel of a familiar object in your hands. Is it thick or thin? What is the texture like? Does it feel hot or cold to you?
Take a mental note of the colors in the environment. Identify five blue, green, or red objects in the room and name them.

Release repressed rage
If you feel the emotional numbness is due to repressed frustration, go to a beach and throw stones into the water, kickboxing courses, or hit your pillow!

Understand emotions.
Make a mood notebook, set a daily alarm, and record your emotions every day. Assign a number between 1 and 10 to how you're feeling.

Disclaimer: The contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

I Feel Nothing: Emotional Numbness and How to Cope. (n.d.). Psych Central.

#الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

7 Signs You're Emotionally Numb
The definition of numb is "deprived of the power of sensation; feelingless."
The definition of empty is "containing nothing; not filled or occupied."

So Why Do People Get Numb?
Emotional Neglect in Childhood: This occurs when your parents are unaware of your feelings and emotional needs as you grow up.
Consider a child who grows up in a family where his emotional needs are often ignored. Consider how the daily absence of emotional validation and an adult response would effectively neutralize the child's emotions over time.
The core issue of Childhood Emotional Neglect is that process, which is typically not intended on the parents' side, and the reason why so many individuals who are otherwise fine are wandering through their life feeling frequently empty or numb.

7 Signs You're Emotionally Numb
- You may occasionally feel a physical sensation of emptiness, particularly in your stomach, chest, or throat (but it can be anywhere in your body).
- You may see yourself going through the motions in a circumstance, even when you are aware that you should be glad, sad, attached, or angry. Yet, despite this, you have no feelings.
- You often wonder about the meaning and purpose of your existence.
Suicidal ideas pop into your head out of nowhere.
- You are an adrenaline seeker, which means you are frequently motivated by a desire to feel something.
- You feel different than others. Your lack of emotional connection distinguishes you. Other people may appear to be leading more vibrant lives than you.
- You frequently have the sense that you are on the outside looking in. Your emotions should bring you closer to people, but instead, they keep you apart.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

7 Signs You Are Emotionally Numb. (n.d.). psych Central

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

Stonewalling in intimate relationships: What You Didn't Know
What is stonewalling?
A continuous refusal to communicate or express feelings is known as stonewalling. It is widespread during conflicts when people try to avoid unpleasant topics or are afraid that engaging in a discussion would lead to a fight. Avoiding a discussion of one's emotions, refusing to give nonverbal communication cues, walking out of a conversation without warning or explanation, or refusing to discuss the matter at hand are examples of stonewalling.

Stonewalling can range from refusing to discuss a subject for a short time to entirely withdrawing for months. The stonewalling practice of leaving during a discussion differs from leaving a discussion for a short period to calm down. While a brief cool-down period may be beneficial to a conflict, the goal of stonewalling is to avoid talking totally.

Is stonewalling abuse?
Stonewalling can be used to manipulate or control others. When one partner deliberately refuses to communicate, the issue is often prolonged, preventing the other partner from exploring other possibilities for resolving the conflict or ending the relationship. People who are stonewalled by others may feel hopeless and out of control or lose self-esteem. Stonewalling is a strategy for gaining control over a partner while appearing to do nothing. It's often used in combination with threats and isolation.

The impact of stonewalling
According to Gottman, relationships might suffer due to stonewalling and he predicted divorce with near-100 percent of couples who engage in stonewalling. When faced with stonewalling, people may get desperate and say or do anything to get the stonewalling to stop. The severe frustration that the stonewalled partner may have could lead to a more severe disagreement than the original issue justified.

Stonewalling could be a taught defense strategy from childhood, or it could result from emotional inability.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

Stonewalling - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog. (n.d.). Retrieved May 21, 2022.

#الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

What keeps post-traumatic stress symptoms going?

Trauma symptoms:
- Intrusive symptoms: memories, flashbacks, dreams, nightmares.
- Avoidance: trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event and avoid external reminders.
- Negative changes in thinking and mood: negative thinking around: safety, trust, power/control, esteem, and intimacy.
- Physical and emotional reactions: e.g., trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating.

What keeps post-traumatic stress symptoms going?
- Unprocessed memories.
- Beliefs about trauma and its consequences.
- Coping strategies, including avoidance.

The goal of cognitive-behavioral therapy- trauma-focused is to:
- Correct these negative beliefs.
- Reduce avoidance symptoms.
- Process the trauma

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

Five ways to stay calm during an argument
Stress can trigger a rush of adrenaline, making it difficult to remain calm and composed. It can also impair your ability to think rationally and make sensible decisions, leading you to say and do things you might regret later.

Breathe
With a deep breathing exercise, your heart rate will slow, and your brain function will improve.
Box Breathing: Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale slowly through your mouth for 4 seconds, and reset for 4 seconds. Repeat until you feel centered again.

Name your emotion
Ask yourself a question. How am I feeling right now? Am I enraged? Sad? Naming your emotion can help you feel more in control.

Use your senses
Count the pictures on the walls, smell your coffee, or place your hand on your thighs and feel your clothes. Using your senses puts you into the present moment and helps you relax.

Become a reporter
Imagine yourself as a reporter who will later write an article about what the person has said while actively listening to them.

Take a break
It's pretty acceptable to walk away at any time. Excuse yourself and go outside to catch some fresh air or look at your phone pics. Before returning to the talk, regulate your emotions.

PsyCentral

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for therapy!

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

What is self-loathing?
Continuous emotions of inadequacy, guilt and low self-esteem are all symptoms of self-hatred. In addition, people may continuously compare themselves to others, focusing on the negative while overlooking the positive and believing that they will never be "good enough."

What is the root of self-hatred?
Various factors can cause self-hatred: Self-esteem growth can be hampered by abusive parenting or childhood trauma. Perfectionism can make people worry they'll never be good enough, and dissatisfaction with a certain quality, such as intelligence or looks, can lead to feelings of inadequacy and doubt. A major mistake, such as deception or crime, might exacerbate self-hatred.

What can I do to quiet my inner critic?
If you've done everything to correct the error but still find yourself criticizing yourself, attempt "self-distancing." Change your internal monologue from first to third person and evaluate the scenario from an outsider's perspective. That can help you develop self-compassion while also quieting your inner critic.

Self-Hatred | Psychology Today. (2022, May 1). Psychology Today.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

‎ #الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

The lost/ loaner child role
A dysfunctional family is one in which the child's physical and emotional needs are not met due to conflict, turmoil, a lack of structure, or neglect. Factors that cause a family to be dysfunctional are poor parenting, an disturbed or abusive environment, substance misuse, mental illness, chronic physical illness, and poor communication.

ُThese families caught in a cycle of dysfunction experiences major abuse concerns such as alcoholism, drug addiction, domestic violence, sexual assault, and emotional abuse.
This kind of environment can damage children, and it doesn't stop there.
Children from dysfunctional homes are more likely to carry on the dysfunctional cycle into their own lives and families.
In dysfunctional families, parents and children often adapt to the dysfunction and play a role in perpetuating the problem.

One of these roles is the lost/loner child role.
The lost child is frequently a loner who transforms into a chameleon in order to blend in and not cause difficulties. They give relief since they have learned not to rock the boat, so no one has to worry about them. They have no personal beliefs or emotional needs to convey, which follows some of the damaged family system's unspoken rules, such as "don't talk," "don't feel," and "don't have needs." They may also choose to leave their family system as soon as they are able, keeping only limited touch with them. Middle children frequently play the role of the lost child. Any gender can play the role of the lost/lonely child. Children in dysfunctional families might take on multiple roles.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

What Is A Dysfunctional Family & How To Break The Cycle. (2022, February 5). Parenting For Brain.

#الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

Why is this belief inaccurate: “I won't be able to control my feelings if I allow myself to feel them” after a traumatic event"?

You may not want to get too close to a fire in a fireplace because it produces a lot of heat and energy, similar to emotions. If you simply sit and watch the fire without doing anything about it. It burns out and can't keep burning forever unless you add more fuel to it.

Natural emotions from the traumatic experience burn out if you just feel them until the energy in them has been run out. But what if you continue to throw negative thoughts on this emotional fire, such as "It's all my fault," or "I'm so dumb," or other negative thoughts? The issue is that these thoughts produce emotions that aren't the event's natural emotions. The fire does not go out because negative thoughts fuel the fire, such as self-hatred, blaming those who were not responsible for the event, believing that everyone is evil or untrustworthy, etc.

Anger at a perpetrator, sadness over a loss, and fear of danger are natural emotions that can be intense and unpleasant. Still, if allowed to run their course, they will fade away over time. In contrast, manufactured emotions result from cognitive interpretations and appraisals of the traumatic event. They are far more stable than natural emotions and do not necessarily decrease when wholly felt. Guilt, self-hatred, and shame are examples of manufactured emotions.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

#الصّدمات_النّفسيّة

05/23/2022

You don’t have to be a perfect child to be loved!
A dysfunctional family is one in which the child's physical and emotional needs are not met due to conflict, turmoil, a lack of structure, or neglect. Factors that cause a family to be dysfunctional are poor parenting, an disturbed or abusive environment, substance misuse, mental illness, chronic physical illness, and poor communication.

ُThese families caught in a cycle of dysfunction experiences major abuse concerns such as alcoholism, drug addiction, domestic violence, sexual assault, and emotional abuse.
This kind of environment can damage children, and it doesn't stop there.
Children from dysfunctional homes are more likely to carry on the dysfunctional cycle into their own lives and families.
In dysfunctional families, parents and children often adapt to the dysfunction and play a role in perpetuating the problem.

In this post, I'll talk about the golden child role a.k.a. The perfect child role , one of these the dysfunctional roles.

To show the outside world that the family is genuinely okay, this child embraces the ideals and dreams of others. The golden children are typically overachievers with low self-esteem who rationalize problems while ignoring their own emotions. Despite being forced to connect with people, they refuse to let others get close enough to perceive their actual emotional brokenness. They consider proper vulnerability harmful and work hard to maintain a positive image. The family's oldest children are usually the golden children.

Disclaimer: the contents of TrueSelf Skills are for informational purposes only.

What Is A Dysfunctional Family & How To Break The Cycle. (2022, February 5). Parenting For Brain.

#الصّدمات_النّفسيّة