The Marriage Restoration Project - Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

07/11/2024

Marie Forleo appreciations Imago :)

Relationship on the rocks? When every conversation feels like a battle, it’s natural to wonder if you should keep trying — or call it quits. If you’ve hit a ...

07/03/2024

Last chance to join live tonight!

Free INTRO to IRT (Imago Relationship Therapy) COURSE!

This Wednesday July 3, 8pm EST
JOIN US!

1.5 hours via Zoom
Highly experiential

Taught by Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, M.S., LCPC, Imago Faculty Member and Advanced Clinician, with over 20+ years in Imago.

Follow this Whatsapp link for updates: https://chat.whatsapp.com/BqkfohBvB5dGQQ29fR1u82

or sign up for the Zoom link here:
https://view.flodesk.com/emails/667b0fa79d7aaa2d8d11f190

07/02/2024

We don't usually share photos of the but when we do it will be of Harville Hendrix!

What a gift Harville & Helen created for the world with their contribution of and so much more. We are honored to be spreading their work..

07/01/2024

is real. Especially in the medical profession.

Reconnecting with a partner is particular grounding and rejuvenating especially when the relationship can be made emotionally safe!

Join other doctors in this Spring #2025 to help mitigate

Need marriage counseling? We help couples stay together, stop fighting, and learn how to communicate better using Imago Relationship therapy at couples retreats and workshops.

06/26/2024

Resource for you this July 14 and 15 to participate in a couples retreat/marriage workshop at the Marriott in Owings Mills to improve communication, connection, and increase positive results from therapy. Feel free to pm me for details or visit:

Need marriage counseling? We help couples stay together, stop fighting, and learn how to communicate better using Imago Relationship therapy at couples retreats and workshops.

06/20/2024

20+ years ago my marriage was touched and saved by Imago therapy.

Now I am honored to serve on its Faculty.

I'm newly inspired after this weekend's International Faculty Meeting.

Something I knew all along about Imago - and am validated by this weekend's experience - is that Imago is so much more than a couples therapy modality.

It is a way of being.

Being on the faculty demands that Rivka and I not only talk the talk but walk the walk.

That means living relationally.

Resisting the temptation to be divided by polarities in the world, yet still maintaining a moral compass and our Jewish faith and practice.

It's a balance 😀

Picture of us surrounded by some of the best therapists in the world ❤

06/10/2024

Attn Therapists! Starting in September 2024, become a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and transform your work with couples! 4 Modules of 96 hour training + attendance of an Imago therapy workshop + video submission of couples session + 6 months of supervision to become certified. Couples therapy sessions can become much easier and gratifying for both you and your couples! Click to discover more: https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/product/imago-certification-training/

P.S. Not a therapist and still want to practice Imago? You can get certified as an Imago coach. NEW cohort opening for you as well! Talk with us.

05/02/2024

Imago therapy's signature Getting the Love You Want workshop takes place quarterly right here in Owings Mills. It's a chance to uncover old patterns of communication and conflict with your partner, understanding more about your triggers and unresolved childhood unmet needs. Next dates are May 19-20, 2024 and is equal to 6 months of highly effective couples therapy. PM for details or register here: themarriagerestorationproject.com/imago-weekend-marriage-workshops

04/10/2024

How amazing it is to be able to create experiences for couples to bond and grow together in their relationship!

"I really felt safe with my spouse while learning techniques that brought us closer" - Workshop participant

03/19/2024

How do you stand out as a therapy practice owner?

How do you differentiate yourself from all of the wonderful mental health opportunities out there for treatment?

It's simple.

Do your best work.

Always look to improve your skillset.

Support your clinicians in their quest for excellence and new learning.

*New* opportunity for group practice owners to bring advanced training and certification to their therapists working with couples in the Fall of 2024 in one of the most effective modalities of couples therapy, Imago therapy.

Practice owners and clinicians report increased confidence and efficacy with couples in crisis, i.e., trauma, affairs, attachment, infidelity, family of origin, parts work after studying Imago.

Insurance may not value marriage counseling but couples do! The world of relationship counseling is *exploding* with high billing through group workshops and intensives.

How do you support your therapists?

Do you offer opportunities for advanced trainings or CEUs for your staff?

03/07/2024

There may be a simple reason why you often feel misunderstood by your spouse or unseen and unheard.

It's due to a common relationship dynamic that many don't know about.

Because it's often easy to get lost in the world of labels.

My spouse is abusive.
My partner is disinterested and doesn't care.
My husband is a bully.
My wife is aloof.

And it makes sense you'd think that way based on their behavior.

We invite you to get curious about an alternative view of their behavior by taking the following relationship quiz.
⬇️⬇️⬇️

If these quiz questions describe your relationship we can help you! All of our programs (workshops, courses, private intensive counseling) address and explore how to fix it through “No Blame and No Shame”.

We hold the hope for you that your relationship can be successful even if you're not currently feeling hopeful.

Thinking of you,
xo, Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin

P.S. Come meet us personally in Baltimore on May 19 & 20 for the Getting the Love You Want™ workshop or join our team in Costa Rica on April 3-7, 2024 for an amazing 5 day/4 night all inclusive couples getaway to work on your relationship dynamic and get it back to what it once was ❤️

https://marriagerestoration.myflodesk.com/maximizersminimizers

02/22/2024

In 2017 I published an article called "How My Therapist Destroyed My Marriage".

It was pretty controversial.

I got a lot of "hate mail" from other therapists.

I must admit that I felt a little intimidated until my phone started ringing (and still does) with those formerly in relationship telling me I was on point.

Not only had their spouse decided to suddenly ask for a divorce after going to therapy...

Some people even "ran off" WITH their therapist!

This led me to create a CEU class called Ethics of Couples Therapy as a way for therapists to check their biases on marriage and understand how their position as clinician holds tremendous power over a couple.

This unfortunate dynamic still exists heavily today.

And I see it manifested greatly in smaller communities such as my own within the Jewish community.

It extends beyond therapists and also includes clergy, friends, family.

I hear this all too often-"My Rabbi, therapist, friend, family member told me I should get divorced because my spouse is abusive".

This is not a post about abuse as that warrants an entirely separate CEU class...

And it's wonderful that therapy is no longer a stigma for so many.

But I'd like to know.

Do we still believe in marriage?
Do we still use discernment?

Do we really think about where people are being trained to work with couples and from where are they getting their information?

For instance- families probably don't know that the "bible" of therapy, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual changed a lot around s*x addiction.

Is that because it no longer exists? Or because we as society decided that it's ok to open up our marriage to other things like po*******hy or even other people when it's not satisfying anymore?

We must use discernment.
Especially in a religion like mine, where the Torah is our guide not the DSM.

If you're someone with the power to hold hope for a family or destroy it with your words, please do everything in your power to learn what is out there to help couples.

Not sure where to look?

I'll always advise learning Imago therapy, not only because it saved my own marriage, but because I haven't seen any other therapeutic modality that holds hope for a couple to be able to withstand whatever life circumstances throw at a family and get through it together.

At its foundation, Imago believes that we were born in relationship, are wounded in relationship, and are healed through relationship.

Not through "canceling" someone because they're just too toxic.
Not through a separation or trial period.
Not through "evidence based research" that can tell if you're likely to get divorced or not.

But through infusing the Divine into a couples everlasting quantum connection.

That's what's steadfast and unchanging.

Thanks for listening!

01/15/2024

It's NOT about the content (i.e., the fights, specific complaints, criticisms)

It's about the encounter (the connection, the interaction).

__________

I'm Shlomo Slatkin and I train therapists and couples how to have deeper and more productive therapy sessions using Imago Therapy.

01/10/2024

New book is out! Apologies are hard to say which is why we created a coloring book to say them (hint- it's also for adults) 🙂 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CRZ8HZ1T?ref_=pe_93986420_774957520

12/18/2023

6 *rarely available* beachfront rooms available to February couples retreat in Costa Rica. PM if you want them or register at TheMarriageRestorationProject.com/imago-couples-therapy-retreat-costa-rica-getaway

12/10/2023

Just in time for the holidays, an adult coloring book for couples to strengthen those with words of affirmation, gifts, and quality time love languages! Positive Affirmations Adult Coloring Book for Couples: Words to connect, relax together & keep the spark alive

Adult coloring pages for couples to ignite the spark, rekindle romance, and strengthen your bond by relaxing together and remember your connection using positive words of affirmation.

12/07/2023

Love that the topic of is all over social media especially on .

Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly-Hunt have been talking about it since the '80s.

What a healing force they've been ❤️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQRU6XiuVNA

Know that for validation to work it MUST go deep.

For Oprah, Harville Hendrix was the best teacher of validation. Harville developed the Imago Theory, which is that you end up imaging in your adult relations...

12/06/2023

People that come to see us don't understand - how after 10, 20, 30 years of fighting about the same issue -

Where they never walk away feeling heard only hurt...
..actually break that cycle of reactivity in one conversation.

There are many reason why this is:

- They are finally getting to the root cause of the pain
- They now have a safe structure in which to communicate
- Their past trauma and triggers matter

I love my work!

11/29/2023

I might not be able to wage battles to change politics and policy, change world opinion, or eradicate evil.

But I witness equal sized victories every day.

❤️ When a husband looks into his wife's eyes and let's her know deeply that he gets her

❤️ When a daughter holds back a biting comment because she realizes it will be hurtful and she learned how to act with compassion towards others

❤️ When a leader respects and can validate another's opinion even if it differs with his own

❤️ When a wife realizes that all her complaints about her husband are actually not his true essence but adaptations from how he grew up and had to stay alive in a threatening world and she can make space for him

There is so much out there to divide us
and yes, really painful stuff that literally shakes us to the core.

And at the same time there is love and vulnerability, connection and compassion

That when shared in it's true raw form
can cause seismic shifts in the world above and below

That is also what is real.



Come strengthen what's most important.

THAT is what you need to fight for.

https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/find-a-transformational-retreat-for-relationship-healing-calendar-of-events/

09/19/2023

Catch us on an episode of the Kelly Wright show about "Strengthening Marriage & Family" airing tomorrow September 20th at 10pm ET.

You can watch the episode on the NTD program page https://www.ntd.com/americas-hope or on our YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/

America is divided as never before. Where can we find hope? How can we return to the values outlined by our Founding Fathers? Kelly Wright with NTD's America's Hope searches out stories and inspiration from across different backgrounds to find the answer.

09/12/2023

Do you have a hard time trusting your spouse?

Speaker: Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, M.S., LCPC, Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, Advanced Clinician, Founder of TheMarriageRestorationProject.com and Rivka...

09/06/2023

There's no shame in group work and in it's powerful potential for healing.

Step into the Circle…https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=8VQe7XRAbHFZ6Xdd&fbclid=IwAR1MUq_XfpValvUgAGRQgo0ZN5zhkuhxXwO5XoqfGnjKeg62KQko-Po2Egg&v=FVxjuTkWQiE&feature=youtu.be

All humans need connection. And the best way to increase connection is when we can understand more about our attachment wounds with our primary caretakers.

This above video is a beautiful depiction of the kind of healing that can happen when those wounds are “unpacked” and we can begin to have a real relationship with ourselves and with those around us.

Wanting to learn more about attachment? There are many beautiful ways to learn more and heal the unmet needs still left over from our primary caretakers so that we can evolve into more emotionally healthy adults.

But guess what? Your marriage is the best teacher!

Whatever is currently getting in the way of your relationship are usually awakenings from the past trying to be healed. That's why marriage can be soooo frustrating!

OUR INTENSIVE PROGRAM IS DESIGNED FOR YOU TO BEGIN HEALING YOUR ATTACHMENT WOUNDS.

If you want to finally break unhealthy patterns, the best way to do so is by working with us in person or online.

There are still spots open for the amazing Costa Rica 5 day/4 night all inclusive couples getaway on October 18-22, 2023. It will be the most comfortable, relaxing and exotic way for you to do some real relationship work and walk away with new change for your future together. https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/imago-couples-therapy-retreat-costa-rica-getaway/

If you prefer something more private, we've also got private retreats one on one either online or at a location near you. https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/marriage-intensives/

You can also visit us in Baltimore in November for a short 2 day workshop on November 2 and 3, 2023. https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/imago-weekend-marriage-workshops/

Prioritize yourself and your relationship


THINKING OF YOU AND HOPE TO MEET YOU SOON,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin

Need marriage counseling? We help couples stay together, stop fighting, and learn how to communicate better using Imago Relationship therapy at couples retreats and workshops.

06/09/2023

Sneak peek at some new photos ❤

05/17/2023

Continuing the discussion of approaching a partner who is resistant to going to therapy, here's a suggested script for how to broach the subject. Click on the picture to follow the script!

05/17/2023

We hear this a lot. 👇

“I'm going to give my spouse one more chance to go with me to counseling and if he/she doesn't find us a therapist than that's it…

Ultimatums or threats really are counter-productive.

It's very normal for one person to be the “dragger” in the relationship.

The one who wants to improve things
The one who is proactive about getting help

And to the dragger it feels like the “draggee” doesn't care.

When you offer multiple times to fix things and your partner just doesn't do anything about it, it might feel catastrophic to you and that your marriage won't recover from this.

Even though it's incredibly painful, it's actually very normal.

In one of our previous email newsletters, we talked about the Maximizer/Minimizer dynamic. We talk about the Turtle/Hailstorm styles and you can check out this link to understand more about what's going on in those all too common scenarios. https://lnkd.in/eBd9Si2F

Put together very simply. One person who is more outgoing: has no problem seeking out help, talking with others, being proactive. Chances are, in your childhood, if this was you- you had to make a lot of noise to be seen and heard.

Your partner on the other hand, learned how to get “safe” in his/her childhood home by hiding, freezing, submitting. It's how they adapted in a noisy, chaotic, home.

So when you push your partner to get help, if they learned that they had to hide to survive growing up- it's all they know how to do and they will do nothing.

It all comes down to .

05/08/2023

Why your spouse's problems won't be solved in therapy:

We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we heal through relationship.

It's tempting to say- “I'll work on my problems and let my partner work on his/her own problems with a therapist or someone else"

But that's not really possible.

It's so tempting not to want to deal with your spouse's stuff.

Because it can be super frustrating
annoying
irritating

And you might feel like you've already worked through your stuff and it's up to your partner to deal with their own issues.

Healing is hard.
Healing is tricky.

Healing happens in a relationship

After all, we are born in relationship, wounded in relationship, and healed through relationship.

So you can't really isolate yourself while you deal with your “stuff”.

Studies show that in individual therapy, the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of successful treatment.

Meaning, it's not the content or the method that is helping you the most if you're seeing a therapist.

It's the relationship with the therapist himself.

Let your partner be your vehicle for healing

As real and helpful individual therapy can be, the relationship with a therapist is ultimately transactional- as you are paying them and it's time limited.

So in a marriage- this becomes tricky when one half of the couple sees an individual therapist.

We're not telling you to fire your individual therapist- but there's a deeper opportunity for you to deal with your relationship issues with your most intimate relationship- your partner.

But what if you don't feel like dealing with your partner's trauma and their complicated “stuff”?

In Imago theory, we believe, that the very thing your partner needs the most to heal themselves, is an opportunity for you to grow as a person and that in being there for them, you will ultimately be able to access parts of yourself that too were wounded.

Meaning- you can accomplish more together than what you can both do individually on your own.

Remember, ultimate healing happens through your most important relationship.

Obviously, it takes a willing partner who is open enough to engage in the process but when there is safe communication in the relationship, you might pleasantly surprised at how willing your partner is!

If you want to work with your partner and accelerate your healing together with them, visit us to see what opportunities are available at https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/find-a-transformational-retreat-for-relationship-healing-calendar-of-events/

Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin

05/03/2023

In your partner's world, EVERYTHING makes Sense.

Angry that your partner doesn't get it?
How could he/she not understand why you're just so angry?

Years ago, we wanted our daughter to have a small medical procedure.

It was supposed to help with her scoliosis, neck, and headache issues.

To us it was a non negotiable and it needed to get done.

She really didn't want to do it.

After a lot of tears, cajoling, explaining, she got the procedure done.

Years later, we realized how terrifying it must have felt for her.

-Even though the procedure made sense to us - in her world it didn't and was a threat.
-Even though medically we were told it was necessary, to her she felt a loss of control.
-Even though we had her best interest in mind she felt that we didn't.

Whether or not something seems logical to you- in your partner's world- he/she might experience a completely different reality than you.

And even when you think you know better…you may not.

When it's hard to accept that the people closest to you are "an-other" and that their opinion is completely valid, we call that Emotional Symbiosis.

“Emotional Symbiosis is when an individual has the limited capacity to be aware of, respect, appreciate, and comprehend the subjectivity of another. This occurs in the phase of early development when a child is completely dependent, and both physically and emotionally closely bonded with their mother. Emotional symbiosis is a very common occurrence as it originates from the early childhood treatment of babies. Emotional symbiosis is usually hereditary and can have a negative impact on one's family life.” (Wikipedia)

Until this cycle is broken - and we can be okay with our partner having their own reality - we will continue butting heads.

It's life-long work to not feel threatened by other people's opinions and realities!

We too needed to learn this lesson in our parenting and continue to remind ourselves of it every single day with our 5 children!

Apologies flow and validation happens often!